Alfie, mouth full, standing next to me after Will stole his spot at the bar, nodded and tossed me a thumbs up. “It’s good, Gren,” he said after he’d chewed and swallowed.
About to take a bite of my food, silently pleased with the compliment, my spoon paused halfway to my mouth. “Is that why you’re all here? Because you’re… worried about me? Because you think I’m depressed?” No, their females were, but they were looking mighty uncomfortable at this moment, and I wasn’t feeling charitable. A part of me enjoyed their discomfort.Squirm, you happily mated worms. Squirm!
Alfie and Ben nearly squirmed in their seats at the implication. The devilish side of me delighted in this. I was twisted, I knew it.
“My Queen decreed it,” Segrid said bluntly. “Her Penny has taken you under her little wing, and she has said of your sadness and want of a female to coddle you. We were sent to ensure you were not crying into your lilypad.”
“That’s not exactly what she said.” Will nearly snorted into his chili.
“That’s not what my little wife said at all,” Ben spluttered.
Alfie, suddenly finding the funny in all of his, possibly at Ben’s sudden discomfort, nearly choked laughing on the bite he’d just taken. Gathering himself, he said on a choked laugh, “Since I was bitchin’ and moanin’ on my butt at home on my day off from the shop, nothin’ to do, in her hair, as she likes to call it, my sweet, loving Kitty Kat told me to get my ass down here and make sure you weren’ttoo far down the rabbit hole,before I made her grey and she brained me.” The Werewolf was puffed up and proud. I’d never met a man more enamored with the prickly side of a woman, and poking it ‘til it surfaced, in my life.
Was I truly that obvious? I mean, I wasn’tthatbad off. I’d spoken to Pen briefly on my wanting a mate, on feeling at odds of late, but never had I said I was sad or depressed or falling down any holes! Needing a subject change, I cleared my throat and asked lightly, “And where are the ladies today?” I was going to be having words with that lot later. See if I hosted another Hen’s Night for those ungrateful… Those ungrateful heathens! Argh.
What was I saying? I was smitten with those unruly women. I’d probably sprout those loathsome green beans I was teased about for them if they asked sweetly enough. Not that I’d ever admit that.
“The women and babes are in Helms.” Chest puffing up, Segrid lifted his chin. “They are well protected in Mordenne’s Under.”
Hiding, it was more like, from the fallout, while they waited for all the details. Hah!
“They went on a shopping excursion and sent their goons after me because they think I need a female in my life,” I muttered, shaking my head, my tone bland. “And all of your possessive asses don’t like the idea of your ladies seeking me out for some Gren time.”
“Not entirely,” William started to say.
“Kinda,” Alfie admitted sheepishly.
“Of course,” Segrid boomed out agreeably. Clapping his hands, he stood to take his bowl to the kitchen, presumably for seconds. Ben stood with him and followed behind him in the chili refill line. Did they never eat?!
That’s what I got for opting to hang with the women instead of the men lately. It wasn’t my fault I wasn’t interested in sports! Sports season, whichever ones were on now, could not end soon enough. I had no clue why Segrid even joined in on all that. He openly admitted he didn’t enjoy it and had no clue what was going on half the time! Made no sense to me, sports or the Troll.
“Don’t your mates feed you?” I grumbled, to a room full of glares and a smirk from Will.
“They would if we weren’t sent off to do their bidding.” The Cyclops bared his teeth at me. His bowl was full to almost overflowing, a huge hunk of French bread joining his feast.
“We’re not watching sports.” I spat that word like it was dirty.
“Not on today,” Alfie said easily. Sitting back, he patted his stomach. After a long stretch, he sat forward. “You need a woman that likes shit you like. Figured we’d go from there. It’s a start.”
“Wait,” I blinked a few times, “you mean you’re all trying to help me find a lady friend?” My voice cracked as I gaped at them.
“You obviously aren’t going to find one on your own, plant boy.” Ben lifted his bread, pointing it at me. “Consider us your… wingmen.”
“Oh my god,” I whispered, in horror. Them? Wingmen? “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Theyknow,” William said between fake coughs.
Slowly, I turned to Will. The veins in my neck began to writhe as my skin slowly turned green. “Excuse me?” I was literally choking on my own spit, my voice growing scratchy as my throat tightened.
“I didn’t tell them, I swear.” Will crossed his hand over his heart.
“No,” I said slowly as the Faun’s hooves slid along the tile floor anxiously, “but you told Pen, and she told everyone else,” I guessed. From the look on his face, I was either on the nose or very close.
Will’s eyes widened in mock innocence. “Whaaaaat?”
My shoulders were rigid, body stiff. I was going to murder him.
“How will you find a mate if we have to help you bury a body?” Segrid sighed like I’d just disappointed him. “I promised my Queen we would be taking you to the house of plants to find your lady.”
