It already has. It changed the second his mouth touched mine.
What if they act weird?
They will. Of course they will. Kyron already looked at me different. The others will too. They won’t say anything—they’ll just stop meeting my eyes. Start closing doors when I walk into the room.
I walk faster.
What if they pretend it didn’t happen?
That might be worse. Sitting across from Locke at breakfast while everyone acts like I didn’t have my fingers in his shirt and his hand in my hair and—
What if they don’t care?
My chest tightens. That’s the worst option. The one where it meant nothing. Where I’ve been awake all night over something he’s already forgotten.
I’ve seen this before. I know what it looks like when people decide you’re too much.
It didn’t mean anything.
I try the thought on. It doesn’t fit.
It was adrenaline. The shopping trip. The makeover. I was overwhelmed and he was there and it just happened.
Closer. But still wrong.
I didn’t even mean to. He moved first.
True. But I didn’t pull away.
I didn’twantto pull away.
And that’s what I keep circling back to. Not what he did. What I did. What I wanted.
What I’m still wanting.
Fuck.
They were kind to me. I ruined it.
The thought settles into my chest like something with teeth.
You finally had something real. A place. People. And you couldn’t just—
I don’t finish the thought. I don’t have to. I already know how this ends. I’ve lived it enough times to recognize it.
It’s better if… I can’t finish the thought.
The path curves. I’m not paying attention to where I’m going. My feet know the route to the main building and they’re taking it without consulting me.
Just get through today. One class. Then figure out the rest.
I round a corner.
I don’t see him until it’s too late.
I walk directly into a chest. A very large, very solid chest that doesn’t move when I hit it.
“Shit,” I breathe.
