Then he goes back inside.
I stay on the steps.
The sun is starting to set. The air is cooling. I can still taste her on my lips, still smell her perfume.
I was calm once.
I remember it.
Before she walked up those steps like she already belonged to me.
Chapter 18
Nova
I don’t go down for dinner.
I hear them. Voices through the floor, the clatter of plates, someone laughing at something. Normal sounds. The sounds of people who didn’t just ruin everything by kissing one of their housemates on the front steps like an idiot.
I sit on the edge of my bed and stare at the wall.
I kissed him.
No. He kissed me. He moved first. His hand on my jaw, his mouth on mine, and I just—
I kissed him back.
My face burns. I press my palms against my cheeks like I can push the heat back in.
What is wrong with me?
They let me stay here. They gave me a room and food and walked me to class and didn’t ask for anything. And I repaid that by—
I can’t even finish the thought.
The smell of dinner drifts up through the floor. My stomach cramps but I don’t move. I’m not going down there. I’m not sitting at that table with all of them while Locke looks at me and they allknow.
Do they know?
Kyron saw. He was standing right there. He saw my face, my lips, the bags on the ground. He knows.
Which means they all know by now.
I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them.
I ruined it.
The thought settles in my chest like a stone. I had something. For two weeks I had something—a place to sleep, people who showed up, a version of normal I’d never had before. And now it’s going to get weird. They’re going to pull back. Start treating me differently. Start exchanging looks when they think I’m not watching.
I’ve seen it before. Not this, not exactly, but close enough. The way people shift when you become a problem. The way the air changes right before they decide you’re not worth the trouble.
I should have known better.
I should havebeenbetter.
The house goes quiet eventually. Footsteps on the stairs, doors closing, the creak of the old floors settling. I don’t move. I sit in the dark with my arms around my knees and I don’t sleep.
The phone sits on my nightstand. I haven’t touched it.
