Time eases the edge of grief,
Memory turns back every leaf.
Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.
Pressing my fingers to her name, I cry for her. The pain in my heart eased by the memories I hold dear. A mother and wife who loved more than one heart can measure and even in death, a love that is stronger than ever.
After visiting her mother’s grave, they spend the next several hours talking. Sharing memories. I love hearing him talk about the girl she once was. The woman she is now. Curious but quiet. Smart. Sweet. Now I know where she gets her tenacity. To hear him talk about her mother, the two women are a lot alike. I’m also gathering that Selena lived a very sheltered life here as well. Her mother lived in constant fear that Del Marco would find them so she homeschooled Selena and only went into town for special occasions, and even then it proved difficult.
I know she is struggling with all of this. That sad look in her eyes when I went searching for her and found her in her childhood bedroom nearly ripped me in two. The girl has been through so much over the last few weeks. It still amazes me how strong she is. How she tackles each obstacle head-on without fear.
So goddamn strong.
So fucking beautiful.
All I wanted to do earlier was curl up with her in my arms and hold her until the pain went away. But she needs more from me. She needs me to give her the space and independence to feel what she needs to feel in order to heal. It’s becoming clear to me that she never really grieved for her mother. How could she? She was stripped from her home and her family. Thrown into the pits of hell and left to survive on her own. What she needs right now is a rock. A rock to lean on when it all gets too hard. A place to rest when the ground gets too rough. I want to be that place for her.
I still haven’t told her what Higgens told me about her uncle either. Until I know for sure, I plan on keeping that information to myself. However, I did put a call in to Agent Morales to let him know what we found and he assured me they would look into it.
Around midnight, Teddy finally turns in and Selena sets about cleaning the kitchen while I make sure the house is secure, only to discover it’s anything but. Anyone could get in here any time and with Teddy being blind, it’s a wonder someone hasn’t tried. Some of the windows have been broken, the roof is shit, and the security system no longer functions. I won’t be getting much sleep tonight that’s for damn sure. Using some stray boards outside, I board up what I can on the lower level and make my way back to her bedroom where I find her sitting in the middle of the full-size bed, thumbing through the box of her mother’s journals.
Shutting the door behind me, I begin unbuttoning my shirt.
“She wrote down everything,” she says wistfully. “My first birthday, the day I got my period.”
“Christ, how old were you when you got your period?”
“Nine.”
“I didn’t think that came until much later.”
“Typically it does but my mama told me I was an early bloomer.”
Ridding myself of my undershirt, socks, and jeans, I crawl in bed next to her, resting my chin on her knee.
“Nearly every page has my name on it.” A tear slips down her cheeks onto the journal.
“You were her life. Just like you’re my life now.”
Gently pulling the notebook from her hand, I carefully place it back in the box and set it on the floor next to the bed.
Then I come back to her and lay us down on the bed like I wanted to do earlier. I hold her close as she unloads years of grief and heartache.
Cradling her jaw, I kiss her wet cheeks, soaking up her tears with my lips. Then I slowly move them down to her mouth as she melts against me. I take soft, tender kisses at first, the salt of her tears mixing between us, a reminder of what’s been lost. Then my mouth becomes more aggressive, showing her what she’s gained. What’s waiting for her if she would just reach out and take it.
“Make love to me.” Her breathy words whisper over me, stoking a fire that burns only for her.
I remove her nightgown and panties then tuck us beneath the covers.
Her silky smooth legs cradle my body as I bury myself inside of her tight, wet heat, swallowing each gasp greedily with every thrust. Her sharp nails dig into my back, and I revel in the feel of her clenching tight around me and the burn she leaves on my skin.
Inside of my chest.
“I love you,” I whisper softly, just before I come inside of her.
The words don’t have time to linger between us before she’s repeating them back to me.
“I love you, too,” she replies, and my heart is content, knowing that she will always be mine.
