“Why?”
I shrug, avoiding his eyes. I’m afraid if I look at them, they will see everything I’m hiding inside. “You’re still comin’ with me, right? Have you heard back from Vandy yet?”
Shaking my head, I lie again. I received the acceptance letter two weeks ago but I haven’t told him yet.
Yet another secret I am keeping from him.
“You’ll get in. And if you don’t, you can go to community college until you do.”
“I still have no idea what I even wanna do with my life.”
“So what. We’re young, Syl. You don’t need all the answers right now.”
“True, but I still need answers to the most pressing ones, like finding a job and figuring out how I’ll pay my part of the rent and—”
“Hey, I told you not to worry about any of that.”
I press my lips together, suppressing my insecurities. This has been a constant argument between us. He has his inheritance from his father’s life insurance so he doesn’t need money, but he doesn’t understand how important it is for me to pay my own way. I can’t depend on him for everything.
Yes, I am in love with him. And yes, I want to be with him, but there’s absolutely no way I will let him pay my way. And then I have to wonder if I would just be in the way. He’ll be busy pursuing his music, and I have no doubt he will make it big once the right person discovers him.
“I don’t wanna talk about this right now. It’s too depressing.”
“Our future is depressing?” he asks with a raised brow.
‘Our?’
Hope flares in my chest.
“Listen, you’re comin’ to Nashville with me. We’ve been plannin’ this for too long and I can’t do it without you. I won’t. So stop being so damn stubborn.”
“Me? Stubborn? I could say the same about you.”
“That’s why you’re my best friend,” he says, pressing his hand to the small of my back, effectively molding me to his body. “I could never be anyone but myself when I’m with you.”
Resting my head on his shoulder, I close my eyes, my heart cracking in two. It screams to tell him, to confess every secret and fantasy my soul carries, but I just can’t bring myself to risk what we have. If we don’t work out or worse, he doesn’t feel the same way, our relationship will never be the same again.
So I settle on what we are instead of what we could be.
