I’ve tried several times to tell him but I just can’t seem to find the right time.
Or the courage.
“I’m going to. I’m just…”
“Chickenshit,” Rachel finishes.
She’s known about my feelings for Linc for a while now and has been doing her best to convince me to come clean for months. She even worked through what to say with me so I didn’t sound like an idiot. And all of it sounds really good, in theory.
Now…not so much.
“You’re not helping you know; you should be giving me words of encouragement.”
“Okay, fine. If you don’t tell him, I will.”
I glare at her. “You wouldn’t.”
She challenges my stare. “Oh, I so would.”
“Would do what?” Linc asks, placing a clear plastic cup filled with Coke in front of me.
Will takes the seat next to his girlfriend with a knowing look on his face. I could kill Rachel for telling him but apparently when you’ve been together as long as those two, there are no secrets.
She promised me he wouldn’t say anything.
“Nothing,” I say before putting the straw between my lips, sucking down half the drink. My mouth is so dry. My nerves frazzled. I need to relax and take a deep breath.
The DJ puts on a familiar song and Linc reaches for my hand, pulling me onto the dance floor. “C’mon.”
His arms wrap around my waist, holding me close, while mine find their place on his shoulders.
“Remember this song?” he says after a few turns.
I remember.
How could I ever forget? It’s my favorite song in the whole wide world, especially when he sings it.
“Ferris wheel,” he reminds me with a smile, even though I already knew. “You were so damn scared. Kind of like you are now. What’s up with you? You’ve been on edge all night.”
I have the sudden urge to flee, to run away and hide. Fear sits like a heavy stone in my belly, and I find it difficult to speak around my tight throat.
“Talk to me, Syl.”
Nothing’s wrong.
Yet.
But that all might change the second I open my mouth.
I’m in love with you.
It’s right there on the tip of my tongue. It tastes of hope and desire, and a million other emotions I can’t define. It is every dream and fantasy I’ve ever known all rolled into one beautiful moment.
But I can’t say the words. Fear outweighs courage and just as quickly as it appears…
My chance is gone.
“I’m just scared about graduation is all,” I lie.
