He shakes his head. “Not for Lexi. She was clear about what she wanted from the beginning, and she found it.”
“Wasn’t he like ten years older than us?”
He chuckles. “Fifteen.”
“Are you okay?”
He turns his head to face me and smiles.
I knew there was something different about him this summer, something lighter, and I’m seeing it now.
“I am,” he says.
“Does that mean you know what you want now?” I ask, feeling hopeful that Miles will finally get to do something for himself.
He nods, gazing into my eyes. When he swallows, I swallow. He leans against the palm of his right hand, the one on the dock between our thighs. We’re closer than we’ve been in a very long time, and he’s not looking away. Instead, he’s got this look in his eye that’s open and vulnerable and honest. I’m unable to breathewith his lips inches from mine, unable to think, unsure of how to stop.
“Miles wait…”
Dropping my face so our foreheads touch, I place my hand over the top of his pounding heart. I pull back far enough to see confusion swim in his eyes, and it kills me knowing I’m about to crush him.
“Reed asked me to be his girlfriend.”
I get it out before I have the chance to take it back, because I can’t take it back. I already committed to giving this summer a shot with Reed.
“When?” He gapes at me, righting himself and making the space grow larger between our bodies.
“The Minnetonka Caves.”
“Oh.”
Miles squints at his reflection in the water as if he’s reading an ancient text written across his features that he can’t decipher.
“Miles.”
“I’m too late.”
He sweeps a hand through his hair as he stands, and he studies the ground near his feet while I stand too.
“No, you know what…” He grips on to my shaking hands, clasping them close to his chest.
“Teddy, I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment you came toppling down this dock with a pail in your hand and a missing tooth in your smile. I’ve loved you when I’ve been at my worst, when I lost my mom, and every moment at my best. I let my pride get in the way when you left that summer after we kissed. I wanted you to say it meant as much to you as it did to me, but I get why you didn’t. You couldn’t promise you wouldn’t leave me behind because it wasn’t your choice at the time. I know you didn’t want to leave back then. And I was wrong to date Lexi. She was around when you couldn’t be, which wasn’t afair comparison. But now, with this summer being different, no school to have to go back to… I just thought it was finally our time. But I waited too long. I waited too long to tell you I love you. I always have, and I always will.”
Miles doesn’t even give me the chance to respond. My fingertips slip through his, and he spins on his heels and walks away. He leaves me alone on our dock with no more chances for tomorrow.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
NOW
We crash into each other. Miles sweeps my feet off the ground and carries me toward the bunkhouse. My legs encircle his waist and I grip the nape of his neck. He fumbles with the handle, so I drag open the glass door with my foot. He deposits my feet on the linoleum floor and pushes me up against the wall next to the bunkbed. There’s plenty of space to move around but not an inch separates our bodies. My lips part and his tongue sweeps through my mouth, pulling a whimper from the base of my throat. He drags his hands down my arms and threads our fingers together.
“Teddy,” he groans. “I’ve wanted this for so long.” His lips fuse to my neck, leaving a trail of warm kisses to my shoulder.
My breathing stops as his lips rest just above my exposed collarbone. When he presses against me, I can feel all of him.
“Me too,” I say.
He plants another feather-light kiss against my chest, and all I want is for him to go lower, to feel him closer. I reach behind me. My fingers close around the zipper of my dress when he stops me.
