I raised a brow, surprised at the sternness in his tone. “I’m trying not to scare you away or make you feel like you need to say something supportive.”
“You won’t scare me, Emmy,” he promised. “Your anger doesn’t scare me.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if it did. Maybe not scare but… repel or something.”
I spent the last year trying to curate a nice, meeker version of myself. A version of me who was only fifty percent expressive of the real me. Because being angry and black and a woman was a cliche. I tried my best to make sure people never got an excuse to put that label on me. I did everything I could to be angry in private, but more times than not, my rage bubbled over. There was no hiding it, no matter how hard I tried.
“No,” Dakota promised. “It doesn’t repel me in the slightest.”
I took a breath and laughed a little. “I do appreciate that, but you have to understand, not everyone is like you. Some people see me angry and see a stereotype. I can’t express emotion without thinking about how it will hurt me down the line.”
Dakota stayed silent for a moment, making sure I finished talking before saying, “I can’t even begin to know how frustrating that is. I won’t pretend like I’ll ever experience an equivalent because I won’t. What I can say is, with me, you don’t have to do that. I’d never see anger as one side of you, Emmy because I don’t want to. I want to see everything because…”
My heart hammered against my chest at the soft tone of his voice. I studied the creasing in his brow and the frown still set on his mouth. Dakota never frowned for this long. I’d never heard his voice this conflicted. My gaze got distracted at how often he combed his fingers through his hair.
I wasn’t being curated Emmy and right now, Dakota wasn’t being the curated version of himself either.
“I want to see every side,” he finally managed to say. “Because… when I met you, I finally saw someone who knew what they wanted to say and how they wanted to say it.”
My cheeks burned at the mention of the stadium. We’d only brought it up once in passing until now. A part of me hoped the memory faded for him. Like, maybe, he could vaguely recall moments but not particular details. From the look on his face, he remembered everything. Even things I’d probably tucked away out of embarrassment.
“You weren’t scared to be angry,” he said. “Not in that moment. Not for a minute. At least, that’s what it looked like.”
“I wasn’t,” I confirmed. Between the alcohol and my sadness, I wasn’t afraid of anything until I got kicked out.
He smiled a little. “I’ve always wanted to be like that.”
I tilted my head at the confession. “Angry? You have something to be angry about?”
“Doesn’t everyone?” Dakota’s voice was light and joking. I could see him retreating back into his comfort zone where he was more in control. I didn’t know how to get him back out, but I was thankful for the moment.
He let me see him. A side I don’t think many, if any, of his friends had seen.
“What?” he asked.
I blinked, not realizing I’d been staring for a second too long. “Nothing…”
Dakota gave me a look, but I shook my head and turned my eyes back towards the rain. Nothing except, he looked beautiful. I didn’t call guys like him that, but I couldn’t think of any other word. He was beautiful in how he cared. A now-familiar twist of regret lingered in my stomach. I wanted him. I wanted to be with him and for him to be with me. I wanted to see what could make him angry or sad or happy or… in love.
“Are you ready to dry off?” he asked, bringing me back to the now.
I nodded. “Yes. I am.”
Dakota got out of his seat and came over to my side to shield me from the light rain with his jacket. He wrapped one arm around my shoulder while he held the jacket over us with the other. I dared to slip my arm around his torso because it only made sense to try and keep close.
I hated the feeling of wet skin on wet skin, but Dakota’s body still felt warm despite the rain. Even while drenched, his scent was unmistakably attractive. I ruefully let go of him when he reached for his key card to swipe and unlock the front door. He let me in first.
“Hello,” a cheery-looking guy greeted. He placed a few hand towels on the counter and offered us some warm water bottles as Dakota signed my name on a sheet.
The guy handed me a plastic visitor badge. “You’re all set. Have a good workout.”
“Come on,” Dakota said as he started towards the main room. “I have access to showers on both floors. There’s low traffic during this time, so no one will bother us.”
My stomach jumped a little when he mentioned showers. He led me up to the second floor and towards the men’s locker room.
“Um…” I froze when he unlocked the door.
He paused, looking concerned. “I’ll make sure no one’s in here. And it makes a sound when it unlocks so we’ll hear if anyone comes in. It’s pretty big though so even if there are other people, we can avoid talking.”
