She smiled a little at the last part. I didn’t share her humor.
“If you learned anything from my mistakes, Kira,” she said. “Don’t get caught.”
She pressed the play button on her phone and started back outside. I stared at the space where she’d stood. The locker room grew a bit louder as women got dressed and expressed excitement over getting into the water. I tried to smile at a mother and her young daughter when they passed by to claim a locker near mine.
Mom’s answer wasn’t as disheartening as I expected. In fact, I felt a little lighter knowing I got her to be honest with me. Now that I saw a small part of her, I could let go of the many parts I hoped she’d show me.
I’d seen enough and could finally let go of who I wanted her to be.
* * *
Leo found me just before Dad started his race. I’d been standing at the bottom of the bleachers, ignoring Mom’s curious look. She was wondering why I wasn’t sitting next to her. Nate was somewhere doing his usual pre-race ritual, avoiding most people now that the press gave him some space.
“Everything okay?” Leo whispered in my ear. His hand slipped into mine and he pulled me near the back of the bleachers, where we’d have a bit more privacy.
“What do you mean?” I shook my head.
“You look more than nervous. Nate bothering you?” he whispered, leaning down so I could smell the lemon on his tongue. Leo’s pre-race ritual involved sucking on lemon drops and blueberry Jolly Ranchers. One of the many random facts I’d retained. Honestly, a bit embarrassing considering how many math tests I failed because I couldn’t recall the most basic formula.
“I’m good.” I shook my head and smiled when he raised an eyebrow. “Nate and I are good too. I’m not worried about that.”
He placed a hand on my cheek, holding me steady so I didn’t look away. “You did amazing during your last session. You killed it without the board.”
“Killed it is a gross overstatement, Leo.” I shook my head with a small laugh, remembering how slowly I made it across the pool, nothing to aid me in the water.
“Killed it is the perfect statement.” His voice was firm, daring to be challenged again. “A few months ago, you didn’t even want to get in the pool. Now, you can swim across, Kira. That should be celebrated.”
“I’m going to cost them the race,” I whispered, the inevitability of us losing suddenly felt heavy. I rolled back my shoulders to loosen growing tightness.
“Fuck them.”
I snorted. “They’re my family.”
“So? Fuck them. If they can’t take the Kira who tries and falls short, then they don’t deserve the Kira who stresses herself out to be the best for them.”
My chest warmed at his support. “Thank you for the hype. I didn’t know I needed it.”
“Any and every time, Kira.” He gave me a kiss. “I’ll give you all the hype you need, alright?”
“Okay.” I grinned.
“You’re going to be wonderful and after that…” he whispered against my lips. “You’re going to be thrilled.”
I tilted my head to the side, curious. “What?”
Leo gave me a devious smile and kissed me again. By the time we broke apart, a voice on the loudspeaker announced the next race and he was in it.
“I don’t think I can hold it in. Not when you look so anxious. I think you need some happy news,” he confessed. “Check your e-mail.”
“My e-mail?” I reached for my phone in my pocket.
He nodded and winked. “Remember, you made me the extra contact on your application?”
My eyes widened. “No shit.”
Leo laughed and backed away to start towards the starting line. “Congratulations, beautiful.”
