Outside, rain fell steadily, the dreariness of the day matching my mood perfectly. I sat at the bar, watching Hunter restocking bottles, wiping down surfaces and cutting limes into wedges.
We’re not your family.
I couldn’t stop hearing it. Esme’s voice, tight and raw.
We’re not your family.
That had hurt more than anything else she’d said. Because I thought of her and the kids as family. Every school recital, science project nights, Friday evenings watching movies on the couch? Was that not how a family behaved? But maybe I’d been fooling myself to believe she felt the same way about me.
I picked up my beer. The condensation had made a ring on the bar. I traced it with the tip of a finger, inner dialogue with myself running through my mind, arguing with myself.
She told you to leave. She’s leaving. This is what she wants.
This isn’t what she wants. You know her. She doesn’t want to leave everything and everyone she loves.
Then why won’t she let me help? Why has money driven her even further away?
Because she’s scared. Because she thinks she doesn’t deserve help from anyone. Even you.And who are you to decide what she deserves or wants? Who are you to tell her what to do? She’s a grown woman, capable of making her own decisions, even if it isn’t what you want.
I should at least tell her how I feel. See if that makes any difference. I can’t just let her go without a fight.
What kind of man are you? A bully like your father? Just because you want something, it should happen?
“Hey, man, you okay?”
I looked up. Hunter leaned against the back bar, arms crossed, with a towel over one shoulder. He had an intensity about him, always watchful as if cataloging what he saw to ponder later.
“I’m fine,” I said.
“You sure? Wanna talk? That’s what bartenders are for.”
I didn’t know Hunter well. Other than here at the bar, I hadn’t hung out with him. But I found myself longing to talk to someone besides myself. “I’m nursing a broken heart.”
“That right? Esme?”
“Yeah, how did you know?”
“No offense, but the way you two feel about each other is pretty obvious, even to a crusty old grump like me. Did something happen between you?”
“It’s kind of complicated.”
“Complicated is right down my alley.”
“Okay, well, here goes then, if you really want to know.” Maybe because he was a stranger, or close enough to one that it all just tumbled out of my mouth. But I told him who I reallywas, and about the inheritance and the twenty million dollars I’d not known about. Robbie’s offer from USC that Esme couldn’t afford. Madison hiding her bleeding toe because at six years old she knew her mother couldn’t afford to get her new ones. And finally, offering to help financially. “She freaked out, like I’d insulted her. Then she told me she was moving to Seattle. Back to her parents who have been nothing but critical of her decisions for years. Away from me, who loves her just as she is.”
“Does she know how you feel about her, though? Other than that you love her kids and want to help?”
“I was planning on telling her, but she sent me away before I could.”
My phone rang from inside my jacket pocket. “Here Comes the Sun.” Esme. The song that had made my heart jump for three years now made my stomach drop. I let it play through to voicemail. I couldn’t pick up. If I heard her voice, I’d say everything, and she’d asked me to stay away.
Hunter picked up a glass and started polishing it, his eyes on his hands. “I’m no expert on romance, trust me. I’ve had my own share of heartbreak. Frankly, women baffle me. Her reaction, though, makes sense.”
“How so?”
“She feels badly about herself. You swooping in with all the answers, offering money, just makes it worse. She’s proud. I get that.”
I thought about that for a moment. A sick feeling settled in my stomach. This was what my father had done. Swoop in and offer something in exchange for what he wanted. “My dad was like that. He assumed he knew all the answers to everything and used money and power to get what he wanted. Maybe I’m more like him than I care to admit.”
