‘I liked that Charlotte.’
Doug’s sad little voice stiffened her resolve.
‘Well, I’m sorry to tell you she no longer exists.’
Charlotte put her hand on his arm this time.
‘Can we be totally honest with each other for once?’
‘Sure.’
‘Have you really been happy these last few years? Because I don’t think I have.’
Doug took a long swig of his beer.
‘There’s been such a lot of pressure, with the business failing and everything. It’s hard to separate us out from that.’
‘I know you’ve had a tough time of it these past few years. But I genuinely believe that people in happy marriages don’t have affairs. Or at least not affairs that last two years.’
Doug’s head went down towards his chest.
‘I’m not having another go at you, honest. I’m just being realistic. I don’t know how I would have felt if it had been just a one-night stand. I’m not saying I’d be any more thrilled about the idea, but two years is a bloody long time.’
‘So, what are you saying? That me flying all this way to beg you not to break up our life together has been a waste of time?’
Charlotte put her hand over his.
‘It’s not been a waste of time. Because we needed to face this anyway, with or without Natalie’s interference.’
The more she talked, the more Charlotte solidified things in her own mind. The affair with Natalie was just a symptom of their problems, not the cause.
‘What do you mean?’
‘When the boys left, something changed inside me. My years as a caregiver were over, which is all normal and natural; youwant them to go off and live their own lives, rather than being emotionally reliant on you.’
She was laying it out for herself as much as him.
‘So, at that point you realised I wasn’t needed anymore as well?’
‘This time, Doug, it’s not about you. It’s about me.’
He was looking at her as if she was speaking a foreign language.
‘We grew apart, but neither of us wanted to acknowledge it.’
‘But we’ve been married for so long. There are bound to be ups and downs. Surely we can try again?’
Charlotte had to harden herself against the pleading note in his voice. Doug downgrading a two-year affair to nothing more than a marital blip gave her the strength to carry on.
‘Ups and downs yes. But this is something more. I’m telling you I’m the one who’s changed, not you.’
‘I thought you loved me, for better or worse.’
‘Let’s not look too deeply into the marriage vows at this point, Doug. I’m pretty sure adultery is mentioned somewhere.’
She’d even got a little smile out of him. His sense of humour had always been a tick in the pro column.
‘As I was saying, I’m the one who’s changed. I don’t want the four-bedroom house in Surrey anymore, the Friday night takeaway and the pub quiz every Monday.’
