His eyes were on her.
‘No, please let me go first.’
Charlotte nodded.
‘Again, I want to tell you how sorry and ashamed I am of my behaviour. And you finding out the way you did was unforgivable…’
‘We both agree on that then.’
Doug’s startled face at her comment made her want to laugh.
‘But it’s you I love, Charlotte, not Natalie. You’re the mother of my sons, the woman I come home to every night, the woman I’ve cared for and who’s cared for me for over thirty years. Surely you don’t want to just throw our marriage away?’
‘I think it’s you who’s put in most of the groundwork on that one.’
Doug put up his hands.
‘Fair enough. I deserved that. Is there anything I can say that will persuade you that the affair with Natalie was a moment of madness?’
‘But that’s just it, isn’t it? It wasn’t a moment. It was a solid two years of lies and deceit. With a woman I thought was a friend.’
The anger built inside her as Doug carried on talking.
‘Natalie was a terrible mistake. She was going through such a hard time, Charlotte, and she was distraught at having to put her mother into a care home. She’s got no one else. She turned to me for help…’
‘Don’t you dare defend her!’
Doug’s body jolted against the table.
‘You were hardly giving her the type of help they recommend at The Samaritans, were you? Where does it say if a workmate is depressed then lay them back over the desk?’
Her shouting had attracted looks from the only other occupied table. But she didn’t care. Doug’s shocked face swam into focus.
‘Charlotte, sweetheart.’
‘Don’t sweetheart me. Anyway, it’s not Natalie I’m really angry at, it’s you.’
Doug attempted to stroke her arm, but she flung his hand away.
‘Again, I deserved that. But I’ve never seen you like this before.’
‘Maybe because, hopefully, you’ve never had an affair before?’
‘Of course not. This is the one and only time.’
A lock of his hair fell over his eyes in a way she used to find cute.
‘You do believe me, don’t you?’
‘Who knows what to believe?’
‘How can you say that? This is so not like you.’
‘What? Helpful, accommodating Charlotte, you mean, who’s there for everyone? Who volunteers for committees, is always dressed appropriately and pretends to other people that her art is some sort of hobby so you can look like the main breadwinner? I’m sick and tired of that Charlotte.’
The hurt in Doug’s eyes was almost too much to bear. They’d had more than thirty years of a marriage that had been happy in its own way before things went south. She didn’t need to stick the knife right in and twist it round.
‘Sorry, that breadwinner comment was nasty. But being away has helped me to understand that I’m not really that Charlotte anymore. It’s just taken me a while to realise it.’
