Swiping my tongue over my suddenly dry lips, I let a shudder of regret run through my bones. I shake my head, eyes stinging as I hold the two halves of the photograph out to show her.
Who knew looking into the rearview at the life I lived before fame upended everything would be so painful. I push out a hard exhale. “I’m so happy to be home. But it’s jarring. Wasn’t expecting to be emotional about it.”
“It’s okay to feel however you do.” She pauses to glance from the remnants of the photo in my hand to the place on the wall it used to occupy. “You wouldn’t be the girl I raised if all this weren’t tugging on your heartstrings. I’m sure planning this wedding has been bringing up lots of old feelings. Rhett was your first love, Noah. But that doesn’t mean he has to be your last.”
I nod, then hurry over to my desk. One last glance at the man I threw away is all I allow myself before I stash the torn photo in the drawer and slap it shut.
She shakes her head, giving me an understanding smile. “The journey I took to find happiness with yourdaddy was riddled with potholes. It’s normal.” Years of experience shine in her eyes.
What would she think if she knew my potholes were more like fucking craters?
“You’ll figure things out. Think about all you have going for you. You’ve got this flourishing music career that’s growing faster than a weed in summer. I’m happy you’ve followed your dreams, Noah. That’s important because being unfulfilled is no way to live.” She cocks her head to the side, eyeing me carefully. “And now you’re taking the next steps in your personal life, too. These are exciting times.”
“Exciting but tedious.” I’ll let her think some of this is about wedding planning. I don’t want to burden her with the rest. I stick out my tongue and scrunch my nose until she laughs.
“Weddings are a lot of work. But soon all the planning will be over, so try to enjoy it. You’re on your way to the rest of your life. If I can help with anything at all”—she pauses, her eyes flicking to the dresser drawer—“even if it’s not wedding related, if you just need someone to listen…”
Shit.DoI let her think this is all about Rhett and the wedding planning?Inwardly I wince, knowing there’s no way I would ever tell my mother what’s really wrong. It’s too much, too heavy.
Always one to read my moods correctly, she pats myarm. “Oh, honey, I’m not trying to pry. But I don’t think I’m wrong when I say marriage wasn’t something you really wanted.” She sighs. “I thought you were ready to settle down before. And then you broke things off.” Stepping closer, she cups my cheeks in her palms. “Noah, I don’t know what happened before you left, but I hope you’ll be happy.” She pauses with a sigh. “Bradley seems nice enough via videochat, but I’ll be less concerned when I’m certain you’re content—with your career as well as the upcoming wedding. If you’re happy, I’m happy for you.” She offers me the smile she’s always reserved for those times she senses I’m a little off-kilter… and that I am.
“Mom, don’t.”Does she want me to acknowledge that I might have had a good life with Rhett? How will that help me now?
It makes my heart trip when I open my mouth and nothing but lies spill out. “I love Bradley. Ilovemy life in LA.”
NOAH
6
The doorbell rings,saving me from having to give reassurances I’m uncomfortable doling out. My eyes flick past my mother, and I mumble, “Truly. I’m good. That’ll be Sage, and today’s supposed to be fun.”
“Hellooo!” Sage calls out as she barges through the front door. “Noah, you ready for this!?”
Mom tilts her head to the side, studying me, but doesn’t say anything more, simply gesturing that I should head down. Hopefully I’ve hidden everything well enough.
When I hit the top of the wide staircase and jog down, Sage is near to bursting at the bottom waiting for me. She bounces on the toes of her cowgirl boots, long, lean legs on display under a summery sundress. “Hey, you! Time for more fun, huh?”
Her wide smile wraps me in warmth, her excitement infectious. She throws her head back, laughter bubbling free, bright and beautiful, just like my friend. “We’ll see how you feel after you find out what I’ve done for your bachelorette party.” Wrinkling her nose she gives me an apologetic look. “Hopefully, it’ll go better than how last night ended up.”
I draw in a breath, shaking my head. “Totally not your fault. I’d rather not focus on it right now, honestly.”
“You sure you don’t wanna stay with me tonight?”
“If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather steer clear of all the Rivers brothers for a little while.” Not to mention all the other crap.
“Understandable. It’s fine. ”
“Promise?”
“Of course. Come on.” She winds an arm around my shoulders and tugs me into my family’s living area. Her eyes gleam with mischief. “We’ve got a few things to do before everyone else arrives.”
And for now, I tuck away the worries that’ve been plaguing me and crush Sage in a fierce hug. “I don’t care what we’re doing so long as I get to spend time with you.”
About an hour later, we’ve moved the furniture around to Sage’s satisfaction. I still have no idea what’s going on, but I’m curious. A few people have begun to arrive—friends of my mom’s, neighbors, and several girlsI’ve been friendly with since high school. Noticeably absent are bitchy Brandy and her slutty sidekick, Cassidy. I’m thinking Sage might’ve had something to do with that.Thank the lord.
The doorbell rings, a welcome distraction from the direction my thoughts had been heading, and my mother jumps up to answer it.
“Yoo-hoo! I found some strapping young men who were looking for the bachelorette party.” My eyes go wide at the familiar voice, and I hurriedly release Sage.
