"Whatever's easiest. Frozen dinners. Takeout. Sometimes I'll grill a steak if I'm feeling ambitious." He shrugs. "I can cook, I just don't bother when it's only me."
"You should come over for dinner sometime. A real dinner." The words are out before I can stop them. "I mean, if you want. I cook for Liam anyway, and it's easy to make extra—"
"I'd like that." His expression softens. "I'd really like that."
Chapter 7 - Chaos
I can't believe I'm sitting here having dinner with her like it's the most normal thing in the world.
Me. Tommy "Chaos" Shelly. The hothead who gets into fights at the drop of a hat. The guy who punched a civilian yesterday without a second thought. The prospect who's spent the last eight months proving he's violent enough, dangerous enough, loyal enough to earn his patch.
And here I am, sitting on this worn couch eating grilled cheese and tomato soup with a twenty-year-old single mother, acting like some calm, well-adjusted adult who knows what the fuck he's doing.
I don't know what I'm doing. I've never had a relationship. Never wanted one. Never thought I was capable of the kind of tenderness and patience that relationships require. My parents taught me that love destroys people, turns them bitter and angry and resentful.
But watching Ruby move around her tiny kitchen, listening to her talk about her grandmother and her dreams and her fears… I want more of this. More time with her. More meals together. More conversations where she tells me things no one else knows.
I want to learn how to be the kind of man who deserves this. Who deserves her. Even if I have no fucking clue where to start.
"You okay?" Ruby asks, settling back onto the couch with her own coffee. "You got quiet."
"Yeah. Just thinking." I drain the last of my soup. "This was really good. Thank you."
"You really mean that, don’t you?" She's smiling, pleased.
"I do." I'm not lying.
It's not about the food. It's about sitting here with her, sharing something simple and perfect. She reaches for the remote on the coffee table. "Do you want to watch something? I mean, if you're not in a hurry to leave."
I should leave. Should put some distance between us before I do something stupid like confess that I can't stop thinking about her. That I've been half-hard since she hugged me yesterday and having her this close is making it worse.
"Sure," I say instead. "What do you want to watch?"
She turns on the television, flipping through channels until she lands on some action movie that's already halfway through.
"I don't even remember the last time I watched a movie from start to end. There's always something to do—laundry, dishes, making sure Liam's fed and happy. And most times when I finally have a moment to sit down, I just fall asleep on the couch."
"We can watch this one now," I tell her. "And if you fall asleep, it's fine. I'll just leave."
She shakes her head, her hazel eyes finding mine. "I would never fall asleep with you by my side."
"You worried I'd do something?" I whisper.
"No." She says it immediately, with complete certainty. "I've met way too many men who are bad people. I have a well-trained sixth sense about these things. And I don't think you'd ever hurt me."
I can't help but laugh, the sound harsh in the quiet room. "Those are words I've never heard before coming from someone else."
"Really?" She tilts her head, studying me. "Are you really that dangerous?"
"I am. To those who deserve it." I hold her gaze, letting her see the truth. "I'm not a good man, Ruby. I've done things—"
"Have you ever killed someone?"
The question should shock me. Should make me lie or deflect. But there's no judgment in her eyes, just honest curiosity.
"Yes."
The word comes out steady. I shouldn't be telling her this. Shouldn't be confessing to a woman I just met that I've taken lives. But if I've learned anything from watching my brothers build their relationships, it's that truth and honesty matter more than anything else.
