"You don't have to feed me, Ruby."
"I know. But you walked me home, and you're drinking my terrible coffee, and I want to."
The truth is I'm lonely. So desperately lonely. And having him here, having someone to talk to who isn't two years old, feels like water after years in the desert.
"Okay," he says. "What're you making?"
"Grilled cheese? And tomato soup from a can?"
"Sounds perfect."
I stand and move back to the kitchen area, pulling out the ingredients. My hands are steadier now. Chaos stays on the couch, watching me work.
"You like to cook?" he asks.
"I like taking care of people." I butter bread and lay it in the pan. "Even if it's just simple stuff. My grandmother used to say that feeding someone is an act of love."
"Smart woman."
"She was." The grief is still there, even years later. "She died when I was sixteen. Cancer. After that, it was just me and my parents."
"And they weren't enough."
It's not a question. He already knows the answer.
"No," I say. "They loved their reputation more than they loved me. When I got pregnant, all they cared about was what people would think. What the neighbors would say. How embarrassing it was to have an unwed pregnant daughter."
The grilled cheese sizzles in the pan. I flip it, watching the golden brown bread.
"Their loss," Chaos says, "You're worth more than their stupid pride."
Tears prick my eyes. I blink them away quickly, focusing on the food. "You keep saying things like that."
"Because they're true."
I pour the soup into a pot, stirring it as it heats. "You don't really know me, Chaos. I could be a terrible person."
"Are you?"
"No. But—"
"Then stop arguing with me." There's warmth in his voice now, almost teasing. "Just accept the compliment."
"I'm not good at that."
"Yeah, I noticed."
I plate the sandwiches and pour the soup into bowls, carrying everything over to the coffee table since I don't have a dining table. Chaos shifts to make room, and we eat together.
The food is simple but satisfying. I watch Chaos eat, the way he takes big bites and makes appreciative sounds. When was the last time I cooked for someone other than Liam? When was the last time I shared a meal with another adult?
"This is good," Chaos says around a mouthful of grilled cheese. "Really good."
"It's just grilled cheese."
"Best grilled cheese I've had in months." He grins at me. "Way better than the shit I make."
"What do you usually eat?"
