“What’s going on?”
“Well, before I tell you, I need to ask you something.”
“Sure, of course.”
“Why did you leave?” he asks, wariness in his voice. “Dad said you brought shame on our family. He made it sound like…like you did something criminal.”
“They never told you?”
I’m not surprised my brothers were kept in the dark, and even less surprised that my father made it seem like I’d done something illegal.
“No, I’ve asked so many times, but they wouldn’t tell me. Were you in prison?”
I pause, trying to keep myself calm.
This is the moment of truth I’ve feared for years, but I won’t hide who I am. I have the support I need now to face this head-on.
“I didn’t leave because I did anything wrong.” I breathe deep, letting out a long sigh. “He made me leave… because I’m gay.”
A thick silence lingers for a few moments. I hear him breathing heavily, but I wait him out.
James could react in any number of ways, and not all of them are good. He could be just like my father and a raging homophobe, for all I know.
Agony bleeds into every word when he finally speaks.
“Are you telling me I haven’t been allowed to talk to you this whole time… because you’regay?“ His exasperated tone leaves me unsure how he’ll react.
“Yes.”
James explodes. “That lying, hypocritical piece of shit. As if what he’s done isn’t bad enough, he shunned his own son?!”
My breath catches. “What has he done, James?”
“That’s why I’m calling. Our family is in the middle of an epic shit show,” he rants. “Luke and I walked in on him in his office at the church, no less, having sex with a woman.
“After that mind fuck, and an image I can’t get out of my head, we’ve found out this isn’t the first time he’s done this. Mom finally admitted there have been others. She’s known…and she stayed.”
“Holy shit,” I exclaim.
Jay’s eyes are wide, matching my expression. The great Reginald Amato, a fine Christian man and holy defender of traditional family values, is an adulterer. Why am I not surprised? No wonder he got into politics.
“It gets worse,” James continues. “The local media caught wind of it, and they’re starting to swarm. In case you didn’t know, Dad’s a state rep, and he’s got grand ambitions of becoming a congressman. The shit is hitting the fan. I need to get Mom and Luke out of here. Do you still live in New York?”
My mom knows I moved to the West Coast, but she doesn’t know exactly where or that I’m with Jay. I thought about telling her, but it never felt like the right time.
“Actually, I moved to Oregon about six months ago,” I tell him.
“Oregon? Why’d you move there?”
I glance at Jay, who’s still holding my hand, his thumb brushing circles across my skin.
“Following my heart,” I say, smiling at him.
James exhales. “That’s farther away than I expected, but that’s probably a good thing. The further we can get from this mess, the better. Can we go there?
“Mom’s a mess, and Luke is… well, I don’t know what Luke is right now. I’ll bring my girlfriend, Shelly, too.”
“Of course,” I say, my mind already spinning. “Tell me what you need.”
