“Sure.”
I grab another beer on the way out, needing the edge dulled a little before whatever I’m walking into.
Outside, she gets straight to it.
“I think it’s great you and Jay have reconnected, but I’m worried about your intentions,” she says, blunt and clipped. “My brother’s been through a lot. I don’t think a new relationship is what’s best for him right now.”
I pause briefly before responding. “I get that you’re protecting him, and I respect that,” I say, keeping my voice steady. I step closer to meet her eyes. “But Jay’s an adult, and he can make his own choices. I care about him. I’ve cared about him my whole life.
“And just so we’re clear: I want to be with him. But I promise I won’t rush it. I’ll be his friend until he’s ready. I know how important it is that he focuses on himself right now.”
She studies me, then her posture softens a fraction.
“Understood,” she says, and there’s an odd note of approval in her voice, like she didn’t expect me to hold my ground.
Before either of us can say more, Jay appears on the patio.
“Hey, there you two are. What’s going on out here?”
“Aiden and I were just catching up,” Heather says, suddenly conversational, her earlier edge wiped away.
“That’s great. Can I grab him for a minute?” he asks.
Jay doesn’t wait for Heather’s reply; he steers me back inside like we’ve got somewhere to be.
“Sorry about my sister. She was probably grilling you about something that’s none of her business.”
I don’t think Jay overheard what we said, and if he did, he’s acting like he didn’t. Part of me wouldn’t mind him knowing exactly what I want. I’ve wanted to tell him forever. But it’s still too soon.
“I can handle Heather. She can bark all she wants; she’s never scared me. And she knows you’re my best friend. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
“I know.”
Ronda’s birthday celebration winds down, so we go back to his apartment with Thai takeout and settle in for a movie marathon of fun, goofy stuff we grew up watching. I have an early flight tomorrow, so I’m trying to spend as much time with him as possible.
We settle on opposite ends of the couch, plates full of steaming food, and I keep stealing glances at him. Every little thing catches my attention: the way he smirks when he’s amused, how his eyes brighten when he laughs, the messy flop of hair that always falls across his forehead.
When a scene we’ve argued over a hundred times comes on, he looks at me with a glint in his eye and a slight quirk to his mouth. No words, just that look that means we’re thinking the same thing.
I feel like a broken record, repeating the same thoughts over and over. I’m tired of pretending it’s casual; I want to be with him, touch him, kiss him, and sleep beside him. But I know he’s vulnerable in ways that don’t show on the outside.
So, I focus on the small stuff: shared popcorn, silly jokes, and the way he falls asleep a few times and jerks awake with a grin.
Still, I hold on to a stubborn hope that sooner rather than later the waiting will end.
Chapter 17
Aiden
Buying the building is taking longer than I expected. Trips back and forth have become routine, and after a few months, during one of those trips, Jay drives over from Portland to join me in a meeting with the contractor I hired to renovate the vacant spaces.
Jay did a ton of research on the building controls after the inspection revealed the heating system issues. Because he’s a software engineer, he understood the programming and found it easy to grasp how it all fit together.
He’s come prepared with an innovative plan for the mechanical system, asking questions I wouldn’t have known to ask the contractor, and ultimately saving me thousands of dollars in repair costs.
After we finish, I drive us down the coast in the new SUV I just bought, to a popular seafood restaurant in Cannon Beach for dinner.
We enjoy clam chowder and fish and chips, then take a walk on the beach, admiring the stunning view of Haystack Rock.
