Pain marks his eyes as he looks up. “I thought about it every day, especially after I moved to the city. But something always held me back. I didn’t know what happened to you, or what reaching out might do to your life.”
He swallows. “And honestly, I think I was protecting myself.
“If there were even a chance that you’d reject me, I wouldn’t have survived it. Not after losing my family.”
My tears flow, and I see his tears reflecting mine. Our father’s demands and expectations did more than just separate us; they carved wounds that have never healed.
“Did you try to find me?” he asks, barely looking at me.
I take a shaky breath, trying to steady my voice more than I feel. “My biggest fear was reaching out and ruining your life,” I admit, hoping he believes me.
“Once I got to college and had more freedom, I tried to find you on social media, but nothing came up. I even checked the church’s website once. Under your dad’s bio, you weren’t in the family photo or even mentioned. It was as if you’d been erased. I worried what that meant, but I couldn’t find you.”
Aiden blows out a breath and drags his hand down his face. “I didn’t know that about the website, but I’m not surprised. I didn’t get back onto any social sites until I started going by Aiden Fox.”
Grateful for the chance to ease back into lighter ground, I ask, “So, how did you get into porn?”
He finally smiles again. “Once Dan got me into the club scene, it became a regular thing. I hooked up with an older guy for a while. He was the first guy I had sex with, and he made it good for me.”
I shift uncomfortably. I want to hear everything about him; I really do. But a pang of jealousy knots in my stomach at the thought of his first time not being with me.
He keeps going. “Then one night I met this guy. He’d been with a studio for about six months, and he said I had the right look for porn. I’d never even considered it, but it felt like a way to stick it to my father. So I let him set me up for an audition, and the rest is history.”
“How old were you?”
“The first shoot I did was two days after my twenty-first birthday,” he says, smirking. “I was so nervous I almost puked. But the sex was hot. I was young and horny all the time, so it became easy fast. It didn’t take long for me to make a name for myself. But I’m older now, and I’m ready to do something else.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Really, why?” From what little I’ve seen of his OnlyFans and socials, he’s done more than just well for himself.
He gives a shrug. “I’m tired and lonely. Dating’s been a disaster, especially with my job, and it’s hard on my body.”
“So, what will you do?”
He perks up. “I’m almost done with my MBA. Real estate investing is something I’ve done for years with a group of people I went to college with, but behind the scenes. I want my own properties that I manage myself.”
“That’s incredible!” I can’t hide how impressed I am. “What’s your plan?”
“I want to buy a mixed-use property and lease out the space. New York is expensive, and the real estate market is cutthroat, so I’m exploring different options.”
“So, you wanna be a landlord?” I ask, surprised.
When we were younger, I assumed he’d go for a trade or possibly a career as a first responder.
“It’s actually a little more involved than that,” he says. “Real estate is a lucrative business, but I’ve also been thinking aboutowning a restaurant or something similar. Give it a movie theme.”
“I love that idea,” I grin, not surprised. Our love of movies bonded us as friends. “We’re going to need to hash out all theStar Warsmovies and shows. There’s a lot to catch up on.”
“Oh, don’t even get me started. We’ll be here all night.”
I glance at my watch. We’ve been sitting here for almost three hours, long past finishing lunch and fried ice cream. Ray could be back soon, but I’m not ready for this to end.
“Let’s get out of here and walk on the beach. I have a feeling theMarveldebate will be just as extensive asStar Wars.”
Aiden laughs, pays the check, and leaves a generous tip since we’ve been sitting here for so long.
For the next hour, we stroll along the shoreline, swapping movie opinions and reminiscing about our years together growing up. It feels like no time has passed at all.
The one topic we avoid entirely is what happened between us the day before. For me, saying what it meant feels like betraying Ray, even though I plan to end things with him. I’ve told Aiden as much, but I think he’s respecting that I’m still with him, and not bringing it up.
