I clicked the end call button on his ornery ass, and I dialed my sister.
“Yes, Deuce?”
“Is Sevyn pregnant?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“Who told you? Frost? I’m beating his ass.”
I snickered. “I’d love to see that, but thanks for confirming.”
“Wait! She hasn’t confirmed anything yet, Deuce. She didn’t even tell me. I just watched her, and you know how I getthose feelings. That’s all this is, just a feeling. Please don’t say anything.”
“Is that why you were on your ‘Don’t let her walk out of your life’ shit yesterday?”
“Yes, but remember, I don’t know if I am right or not.”
“You’ve never been wrong with your feelings, Amani.”
“I know but still tread lightly. I’d hate for you to push her away.”
“Yeah, it might be too late for all that,” I muttered.
We talked a little while longer, while I watched Sevyn from down the street. She was standing in the spot where someone had left a roadside memorial in remembrance of Ethan. I wasn’t sure if that had been his family or his ex-girlfriend. I knew that it hadn’t been Sevyn. I wondered how long the city would allow them to keep doing that before they stopped.
I pulled out of the parking lot and drove down the street toward her. I parked in the lot right behind her and got out of the truck. She had crossed back to my side of the street again and was checking her phone.
“Sevyn!” I called as a few pedestrians turned in my direction. She was so focused on her phone and walking that she didn’t hear me. “Sevyn!” I shouted again, this time catching the attention of a group of teens. I jogged a little to catch up with her.
“Sevyn.”
“What do you want? How did you find me, Deuce?”
“I want you to know that I love you, Sevyn, and I was a fool for not telling you the truth from the beginning.”
“Whatever. You should have thought about that in the beginning,” she replied, walking ahead of me.
“Please just hear me out. All I ask for is five minutes, and I’ll be gone. Please.”
“Five minutes and no more.”
We stood on the street corner as I explained to her about Lena’s abusive husband, the pregnancy, and her handing him the divorce papers. I explained how I wanted to be there with her, but she wouldn’t allow me to. I told her that was why he shot and killed his wife.
“The night that I walked in front of your car was the night Lena died.”
“What?” Sevyn asked, gasping.
“We had been at the ER praying for her while she was in surgery. When they came out and told us she died, I didn’t believe it. I had to go and see for myself. I went back to see her, and she was gone, and so was my child. I just walked out the hospital. I was so numb that night, Sevyn, that nothing else mattered. I left my car at the hospital and headed home. That’s where I was going when I stepped into the street. I wasn’t watching where I was going. It was dark and raining, and I just didn’t give a damn. I didn’t care if I lived or died. There was a moment when I looked up and welcomed your car’s impact. I wanted you to hit and kill me so I would feel something. So I wouldn’t be here anymore.”
Sevyn’s mouth hung open as she stared at me, and tears fell from her eyes. “You wanted to die?”
“I’m sorry, Sevyn. I never meant for you to lose your husband and everything else in that accident. I never thought?—”
I was choked with grief and regret. Tears fell from my face, and I covered it briefly.
“All this time that you’ve been helping me with my grief, and you were trying to manage your own. I had no idea that your grief was so fresh. God, Deuce. I want to forgive you, but it’s hard to forget that you lied to me. How can I trust you with my heart when you never truly protected it?”
