The worst thing that I could have done was come here to Frost, the bar my cousin owned and named after himself. I was hoping to come here and shoot the shit with him, but when I arrived, he wasn’t here. Someone said that he would be in later and that he was out handling business.
That could have meant anything, since he owned several businesses and still roughed niggas up on the street for GP alone. I knew he did that to keep his rep intact, but he no longer engaged in illegal businesses. He had shut all that down years ago and gone legit with real estate, his bars, nightclubs, and strip clubs. I was proud of my big cousin, which was why I sought him out tonight. He was the only one who could understand me and talk some sense into me.
“Al! You gon’ refill my drink or what?” I shouted above the din of the club.
“You want water or club soda?” Al called back.
“How ’bout I bust a club over the side of your head?” I slurred.
A hand gripped my shoulder hard, and I turned around ready to break my fist against someone’s nose.
“You big ugly black bastard. Where you been?” I slurred again.
“Watching you make a damn fool of yourself in my club from the cameras,” Frost replied, shaking his head in disgust at me.
“Why you didn’t come down? I’ve been waiting for you.”
“I had some shit I had to handle. I can’t drop everything to babysit y’all whining ass niggas every time I turn around. The fuck wrong with you? Up in here sobbing in your drinks. Heard you had four drinks and a couple of shots already. You gon’ pay for that shit in the morning. Weak stomach ass nigga.”
“Frost, you know I can hold my liquor.”
“Apparently not. You up in here talking big shit to Al, knowing that he’s hard of hearing. He probably ain’t heard most of what you said. But he reads lips good as hell. Most of the time he had his back turned to you so he could ignore your stupid ass.”
“Why your bartender counting my drinks and tattling on me like a bitch boy?”
“Because he knows you’re fam, and you’re good peeps. He don’t wanna see you get in no shit, especially knowing you rep the badge. You’ve got too many people who know you and respect you. Tonight, you ain’t acting like yourself, my nigga. I know that you’ve been trying to make detective. Don’t fuck that shit up, Deuce. You’re one of the few good ones on this side of the family.”
I shook my head and rubbed my hands over it. “It’s been a rough day, Frost.”
Frost sat on the barstool beside mine and turned to face me. He held up two fingers to Al and turned back to me. “I’m listening.”
“Today was Lena’s birthday.”
“Damn, Deuce. I’m sorry.”
Frost was the only one I had told about Lena and the baby. He knew how hard I was taking things.
“Yeah, it ain’t been an easy day at all.”
“You should’ve been doing something to take your mind off her.”
“I couldn’t. I was scheduled to work my shift today, and being at work only reminds me of her. Then I was supposed to go home, but I couldn’t. I had too many emotions running through me. It’s like ice and fire, my nigga. I can’t take this shit home to that girl.”
“How is Sevyn by the way?”
“She’s been good.”
“I’m guessing she wouldn’t be if she saw you all fucked up like this. Your eyes are bloodshot, you reek of alcohol, and you’re slurring your words.”
“I know. This shit is just so unfair, you know?”
“What’s that?”
“The fact that I’m still here living my life and happy with Sevyn. Lena and my child are no longer here. They didn’t get the opportunity to be happy, Frost. Their lives were cut short. My little shortie never even saw the light of day.”
“And you gotta stop blaming yourself for that shit. I mean, I get that you feel bad and you wish she was here, but you didn’t put that gun in that nigga’s hand, and you didn’t send him to her.
“You had been begging her to let you go. She chose to meet up with him without you around. Obviously, she wasn’t expecting that bullshit, but I’m sure that she knew the risk. You can only carry so much of the responsibility, Deuce. He has to carry the weight of what he did.”
