“One of these days, we’ll have to do a girls’ night on Saturday so we can invite May. Maybe even Eirinn.” Evie slides a bright yellow polish along her fingernail.
“I’d love that. I get the feeling Eirinn is pretty intense. And May is so dang busy, I can’t even guess how many things she’s involved in.”
I’m not sure I’ve met someone more compelled to be busy. But it’s never frivolous things. It’s always projects to improve Juniper View or small business ventures.
She makes me think of the lines inHamilton: The Musicalwhere they talk about how he’s writing like he’s running out of time, but for May, she’sdoinglike she’s running out of time. If I can pin her down long enough one of these days, I want to figure out what that ticking clock is counting down to for her.
“They are, but they’re amazing women from what I’ve seen. Dr. Ryan certainly speaks highly of his sisters.” Her eyes flick up to me. “Not that his opinion matters, just that he’s told me things that make me like them.”
I smirk. “Ah, yeah. You couldn’t possibly care what his opinion is.”
She lets her eyelids droop down, unimpressed. “You’re one to talk. I heard you were kissing the sheriff right there on the street earlier this week.”
My mouth drops open. “Who said that?”
She giggles. “Shalita Johnson. She came in with her husband for an appointment on Wednesday after lunch andapparently, she said the sheriff was, and I quote, ‘gettin’ it good right there on the sidewalk.’”
I am horrified. She must see this all over my face because she laughs large and loud, still holding that little yellow nail polish brush in one hand. “I asked her to clarify, and her husband butted in and said you were kissing, but still.” She wiggles her brows. “Sounds hot.”
My cheeks could start a fire if I pressed a sheet of paper to them, but I’m laughing and sighing now, too. “I’m not going to lie, it was very hot.”
She squeals, and I bury my face in a pillow. But even as I hide the absolute flames coming from my cheeks, I’m loving this moment. I love that I have a friend like her, someone I can share real things with, and who’ll tease me about liking a guy, and who’ll celebrate it with me, too.
I recap my conversation with Grant before the kiss, and she’s practically bouncing out of her seat by the end.
“I love this for you. I need to see you guys together. He’s so handsome and you’re so pretty and you would be such a sweet little family.” Her eyes well with tears. “Sorry. Hormonal. But for real.”
I exhale sharply. “I’m not sure we’re that serious.”
It’s not even a question. We’re not. We haven’t even been on a date. But we have been sharing our lives in fits and starts, and I feel like he’s close.We’reclose. And I knew from the second I learned he’s a father that being with him is a big deal.
He’s not a man who’s going to casually date. We have things to talk about, but at no point has he made me feel this would be purely surface level. I’m not sure the man would know the meaning of the concept. And so as wild as it sounds to be thinking about being a part of his family, it’s notnotsomething I’ve thought about.
“Fair enough. But you’ve thought about it.”
She steals the words right out of my brain.
“Yeah. I have. It’d be irresponsible not to.”
She points at me. “Exactly. Thank you. If I date someone at some future time when I can wrap my head around wanting an actual available human man and not the completely unavailable fantasy version I work with every day, I need them to come into it knowing I can’t be casual. Not in the same way someone without kids can. Just admitting that takes trust, so the fact that he’s being so forthcoming tells me he’s all in.”
Her words swirl around in my head for the rest of the night—through our watching ofPride and Prejudice, on my drive home, and as I pull into the drive.
And it’s what propels me toward his back yard when I smell the scent of burning wood and see the rise of smoke. He’s out at his fire pit, and he might want the space. But I can at least say hi.
I can at least show him I’m in, too.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Grant
Finn giggles.
It’s one of those things that makes me love him a little bit more every time I hear it because it’s just so ridiculous, but itisridiculous.
He showed up right after I put the girls to bed, giddily high on life and starlight and apparently a great day. He wouldn’t even tell me what was so great about it, but he’s practically glowing where he sits in a deck chair a few feet to the left of mine, watching the fire crackling in my stone-lined pit.
He hasn’t stopped grinning since I told him things with Sam are going well. I didn’t even mention we kissed or that she seems like she’s ready to try things out. I just said, “Going well,” and he celebrated like his team won the Super Bowl.
