She sits taller in her chair and squeezes my hand. “I’m ready.”
“Then I am, too.”
Anticipation spreads through me and it’s all I can do not to haul her out of her seat and kiss her. Instead, I cup myhand around hers and bring her palm to my lips. I press a kiss to the warm center and hear her breath catch.
“I’ll take as much as you’ll give me, so you decide. You’re in charge.” And I’ll make sure she has no doubts she’s safe to do whatever she needs to, even if it means telling me to take a hike.
Her chin wobbles, but she smiles through it. “Thank you. That’s exactly how I know I’m ready to try with you.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Sam
We walk toward the diner slowly. Several people on their own lunch breaks or out to enjoy walks in the springy sunshine give us looks like they don’t understand what we’re doing.
Grant scowls at them in return, and I’m reminded of my first impression of him. It’s so different from who I know him to be now. Not that he’s always a ray of sunshine, because he’s not. That wouldn’t fit him anyway. But his grumpy, overprotective demeanor that overshadowed everything about him in the beginning is only one small part of who I can see in him now. He’s actually quite soft-hearted, and so concerned for those he loves, I’m starting to wonder if he’s pushing himself too much for their sakes.
Grant’s not a simple man, and I wouldn’t want him to be.
It’s more that the last few days have made me realize Idon’t have to keep punishing myself for having been with Andrew. Even my lunch date with Evie reminded me that smart, amazing women end up with terrible men, and it’s awful. But it doesn’t mean they’re doomed to repeat the pattern.
More than that, my time in Juniper View is making me realize I have been living half a life. I’ve been stuck in survival mode so long, I didn’t even know how to dream when I got here. And the beautiful reality is that this small town, and yes, this man, are better than anything I could’ve dreamed up anyway.
It’s that feeling that has me threading my fingers through his when Jerry’s comes into view around the corner. Maybe it makes me weak, but I want to be near him, close to him, hear his voice. I want more of him, and I’m suddenly anxious that I don’t know when I’ll get it.
He stops a half block from where the windows of Jerry’s starts and tugs me to the side, slipping us into the tight alley between buildings. He’s still holding my hand, and our eyes are locked on each other’s. His eyes are bluer than the sky right now—they’re so ridiculously beautiful, and set into his ruggedly handsome face, I don’t know what to do with myself.
He steps closer, his gaze dropping to my lips before coming back to my eyes. “Can I?—”
“Yes.”
It’s less than a second from when I interrupt his question to when his mouth is on mine. One of his big, warm hands is pressing into my back and the other is cradling my face. His touch is gentle, almost tentative at first. It’s not the need-filled demands like we had before. It’s tender and searching. He’s asking with a soft press,do you want this?
I’m answering with my fingers sifting intohis hair and accidentally knocking his cowboy hat from his head, body arching close to his, “Yes, yes, yes.”
All I can seem to communicate to him is yes, more, and keep going, but reality is waiting for us, and I can’t ignore the alarm blaring through my phone speaker.
We break apart, both breathing deliciously hard, and I love the flush on his cheeks and the way I messed up his hair. He bends down to grab his hat where it fell and fits it back on his head.
I press my hand to the center of his chest, the buttons of his shirt under my palm. “I am deeply sorry I have to go.”
“Jerry won’t mind, will she? Tell her you want to make out some more and she’ll support an extended lunch break.”
The devilish little smirk on his face has me laughing. “I worry if she finds out I’ve been kissing you, she might not.”
I pat him twice, then turn to go. But before I make it back to the street, he grabs my hand and twirls me back toward him, pulling me straight into his arms and planting another firm, sound kiss on my lips. He leans back, his hands holding my face, and says, “Alright. Be gone with you.”
But he doesn’t let go, and instead, kisses me again.
“Go on,” he insists, then steals one more kiss before he finally releases me.
“Bye, Grant.” I can’t stop looking back at him as I go.
He pushes off the wall and follows me onto the sidewalk, touching two fingers to the brim of his hat. “Bye, Sam.”
It is a painful three days until I see him again. One might think we should be able to spend more time together, but he’s a single dad to two kids, and I’m working as many shifts as Jerry will give me so I can afford to pay for my life and register for the summersemester. Right now, I can only register for one class at a time. But this summer, I might be able to go closer to full time.
But tonight, I escape to Evie’s for a girls’ night. We both needed it, and as much as I love the Ryan family Friday night dinners, I wasn’t up for the crowd tonight.
