His mouth twitches. “I haven’t forgotten, smartass. But we haven’t in a while. Not since…”
Not since you told him about the guy who did something at a party.
I frown at the memory, shifting on the bed. “I know. It’s okay. I…wouldn’t mind it. Iwantto share a bed with you, I mean.” And once I speak the words, I’m surprised to find they’re true. Am I nervous about things escalating into another repeat of that terrible Friday night? Sure. But I’d rather fall asleep next to Wes than apart from him. I can admit that much to myself, at least.
His eyes brighten. “You do? I wasn’t sure. I don’t want to push you. I pushed too hard before. You said you weren’t ready, but I didn’t hear you. Not really.”
“That wasn’t your fault,” I tell him softly, guilt rolling through me at the thought of him feeling even the slightest bit responsible for my freak out. He shrugs like he doesn’t believe me, and I feel worse. “So that’s why you haven’t asked me to stay over? I thought maybe you didn’t want me to.”
“Ivy,” he says, shaking his head. “That’s crazy talk. Ialwayswant you to stay. But you haven’t asked me either, so I was just following your lead.”
“Well, don’t,” I joke, deciding it best not to bring up the nightmares I’ve been having. I had a particularly brutal one last night, not that I can recall the specifics. But it woke me in a cold sweat, panicked and shivering, and I ended up tossing and turning until dawn. Wes hasn’t mentioned the bags under my eyes, though, which means I must have done an expert job with the concealer. “I have no clue what I’m even doing half the time.”
Wes gives a laugh at that. “You think I do? I just make shit up as I go along.”
“Then you must be the luckiest man in the world because it always seems to work out for you.”
“I am lucky,” he says, gazing at me with tender eyes and a soft smile, “but you have everything to do with that.”
His words wrap around me like a blanket, offering the safety and comfort I’ve been craving the past few days, and I lean forward to kiss his jaw. “You say the nicest things to me,” I murmur against his skin before pulling back.
A brief look of surprise passes over his face at my show of affection, and he reaches up to cup my cheek. He looks at me like I’m the center of his world, and my breath stutters. “You deserve only the nicest things,” he says, his thumb brushing across my cheekbone. “Will you stay over tonight?”
I nod eagerly. “Yes. I’d love that.”
“Me, too.”
Our gazes hold for a few loaded seconds, and then Wes leans in to kiss me. He moves carefully, cautiously, giving me every opportunity to pull away. I don’t. I press my lips to his as my heart stumbles over a beat. The kiss is chaste, but perfect, and it leaves me smiling for the rest of the night as Wes cuddles me in his arms. We don’t do anything besides that, but sleeping nextto Wes quiets my mind and tames the nightmares. I wake up calmer than I’ve been in a while, and I cling to the feeling until Wes drops me home.
Once I’m alone, the peace fades. My mood plummets and anxiety creeps back in. Without Wes to hold onto and nothing to distract me, my mind starts buzzing again. My head fills with noise, echoes, and all the truths I haven’t said, and I wonder how much longer I can go on like this. How much longer until there’s no light, no quiet, no relief to be found anywhere?
Not even with Wes?
TWENTY-EIGHT
“Holy shit,”I blurt as we pull into the driveway of the rental property. The house is as beautiful as it is enormous, overlooking the beach and the ocean beyond.
“I know, right?” says Wes, shutting off the car. We step outside and stare up at the monstrous home. “It’s insane.”
Instead of opening the trunk to grab our bags, he takes my hand and starts pulling me down the pathway around the side of the house. He’s walking so fast I have to jog to keep up, but when we reach the end of the path, we come to a halt.
“Wow,” I mutter, taking in the stunning view.
“Understatement.” Wes flashes me a giddy grin and tugs off his sneakers and socks. I follow his lead, and then we step onto the beach, our bare feet sinking into the sand.
I take a deep breath, inhaling the briny air. “I can’t remember the last time I even saw the ocean.”
“Then we better get you a closer look.” His eyes flash with a mischievous glint, and I don’t have time to react before he scoops me up and slings me effortlessly over his shoulder, already running toward the shoreline. I scream through my laughter, beating playfully at his back.
“Wes, put me down!”
“Time for a swim!” he teases.
“You better not! That water’s freezing!”
My body still slung over his shoulder, he steps into the shallow water and darts back. “That water’s freezing, Ives! Why didn’t you warn me?”
“I did,” I laugh as he swats my butt. “Put me down, you giant. I have a fear of heights, and you’re like forty feet tall.”
