“You don’t get it!”I sobbed.“And you never will.”
With a hand behind my head, he shoved my face in his neck.“Hush.Do not let this upset you.It doesn’t matter.It’s done.Behind you.”
“You don’t understand,” I wailed, pushing deeper into him,pressing my face to his skin.
He turned his head and kissed my hair, one hand stroking myback, his body rocking mine, and urged, “Hush, my love.Hush.You’re here.Notthere.You’re safe.”
Oh gods!
He’d never understand!
My body wracked with a sob.
“Hush, my love,” he whispered.
It wracked again.
“Iwannatell you, I just can’t.”I yanked my face out of his neck and stared at his blurry head.“I promise.Iswear, Loren.I want to tell youso bad.”
He shoved my face back where it was and stated inflexibly,“I’ll not hear talk of this again.I don’t need it,Satrine.Do not let it upset you.”
And there it was again, all of it, falling into place as ifit was meant to.
Buthe didn’t get it!
And it was his to have.
But he never would.
I reared in his arms with my emotion, and he held on.
In the end, I cried myself out, and it was so mammoth, I wasa ragdoll after it was over.
Never fear, my man was a god and he picked me up and put meto bed.
He held me there too, and muttered irritably, “That man isthe foulest in creation, having done this to you.I worried you were handlingthings too well.You should have let this out sooner, darling.”
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
“It will come to you, and I hope it will be soon, just howsafe you are.”
Until Lady Corliss meets a friend she should know well, butshe doesn’t.
Or Dad-not-Dad makes his defense, and suggests someone go toFleuridiaand find this cottage we were supposed tohave been sequestered in and the couple who brought us provisions, and itwasn’t there, and they don’t exist.
Or a million different threads of the carefully crafted liesMom and I told started to unravel.
And then, how safe would I be?
We’d have money.
Mom or I would let go of Maxine on our dying breath, so we’dhave Maxie.
But there were a million ways to be found out.
And then lose him.
And I couldn’t exist in this world without him.
