“Nope.No.”I shook my head.“I don’t want to hear it.”
“Okay, Mom, but you have to hear it.”
I ignored him and went to the coffeepot.
There was a pot made.My boy started drinking coffee a fewmonths ago.The beginnings of this slipped under my radar.By the time Icottoned on, it was too late.
Maybehis fatherintroduced him to it.
I pulled a mug from the cupboard.
“I was going to call him.Figure out how we would come cleanwith you.And I did.Except, he’d been kidnapped by an asshole, so he couldn’ttake my calls,” Liam said.
I turned to him then.
“Language, boy,” I snapped.
I saw his jaw flex, and then, doggedly, he went on, “Itneeded to stop.We both knew it.I just couldn’t get Dad to admit it.Hefelt…like,unworthyof you or something.So when you asked me if Iwanted to meet him, I agreed like, well, uh…” he scratched his head uneasily,“like I hadn’t met him yet when I had.”
I’d poured my coffee, and after he finished talking, Iturned to him.“That part, I got.”
I moved to the fridge to get the creamer.
“Mom, it isn’t like wewantedto keep it from you.You just, you know, still loved him.He told me you wanted to make us a family.And it wasn’t safe to do that…yet.”
“How did you know I still loved him?”I asked.
“You told me,” he answered.
After pouring my creamer I turned to him again.“Yes, aboutseven years ago.”
He looked uncomfortable.“Yeah, Mom, but you don’t date.You’re my mom, but I got eyes, I can see you’re hot.You’re still kinda young.”
Still kinda young.
I was thirty-three!
Lord, grant me strength.
He continued, “You could totally land a guy.You never evenlooked.Because you’re hung up on Dad.”
Someone please explain to me why I suddenly wished I had adull child.
I went after a spoon to put sugar in and stir my coffee.
“He’s messed up,” Liam said.
“A tire iron will do that to you,” I told my coffee as Istirred it.“He’ll heal.”
“No.About you.About us.About what he did after his daddied.He’s hung up on you too, you know.”Weighty pause.“And he doesn’t dateeither.”
Shot…right through the heart.
I was correct when I walked in.
I didn’t want to hear any of this.
I opened the cupboard to get a travel mug.“I’m going to thegrocery store.”
