“We had to be careful.”
I’d heard that refrain.
And I was sick to death of it.
So my eyes narrowed.
Darius got serious.“Liam didn’t want you to know.Heoverheard me talking to your father about the precautions we needed to take,and he was adamant.You couldn’t know.He thought, and he was right, that itmight put you in danger.You’d push for more.We had what we could have, and itwas Liam’s idea, and I backed him, that we had to do it how we could to keepyou safe.”
“And you give your son everything he wants.”
“Well…yeah.”
Oh my God!
Why was he so awesome and such a pain in my neckat thesame damned time?
Gah!
“Does he know you used to do what you did?”I asked.
“I think he suspected, with all the care we had to take withme being with him, but I came clean to him last year, when he was old enough toget it…and after I was out.”
“So it was only me you kept in the dark.”
“Sweetheart—”
“And when our son started to pull away from his Uncle Tony,it wasn’t because he was settling into knowing it was him and me against theworld.It was because he had his dad.Did you play basketball with him?”
“We had to make arrangements so no one would see us,but…yes.”
“You didn’t show to delete his Transformers and give himTupac because he needed a growing man’s room.You showed because he told you hewanted one.”
“And he needed a growing man’s room,” Darius reiterated.
“Right,” I said crisply.“And when I sat him down and sharedabout his father, the reason he told me a man has to do what a man has to doisn’t because he didn’t want to hurt me by talking about his dad, a man Iconfessed to him I still loved.It was because his father and him were lying tome.He didn’t need me to seek you out and ask you to meet him.He’d beenhanging with you for years.”
“Malia—”
I turned stiltedly and grabbed my purse.
I turned back and said, “Fuck you, Darius Tucker.”
He flinched.
“It took you a long, damned time,” I shared.“But have tohand it to you, in the end you killed it.What I felt for you.You killed it.Dead.”
With that, ignoring the expression on his face, I marchedout.
Chapter Nine
My Own Damned Life
When I walked into the kitchen the next morning, evenif it was early, and summer, and a weekend, my son was sitting on a stool atour island.
He opened his mouth.
I lifted a hand, palm out his way.
