“Really?” I perked up.
“Nah, you looked better than good. You looked amazing,” he nodded.
“No I didn’t, you’re just saying that.”
“Nah, I said it because I meant it. The pin curls holding all of that hair up left every inch of your beautiful face on full display. I was happy when you decided to dance with me during the last song of the night,” he expressed.
“I’m glad I did too,” I beamed.
“That pink dress might’ve covered your body, but there was no hiding all of your curves. I even told you I never even knew you had a body like that,” Rashawn boosted my head up. “I used to crush on you hard in fifth grade. My childish hints must not have worked, huh?”
“What hints?”
“When we went to lunch, I always sat by you. I walked you to your brother after school so y’all could wait together for the bus. You don’t remember that time I told Faith I’d slap those bifocals off her face when I heard her calling you bag lady?”
“Oh my God,” I cackled. “I remember that day. That was the first time I said to myself, Rashawn might be crazy. Faith and her crew were so scared. You even told Faith to go get her cousins if she felt some type of way.”
“Come on, man, I was about to throw hands with a couple seventh graders ‘bout you girl.”
“I just thought you did that stuff because you were Essex’s best friend,” I clarified.
“We were too young to be acting on crushes back then. That’s why neither of us was picking up what the other was putting down,” Rashawn avowed.
“We’re older now,” I muttered.
“Yeah, we are.”
We stared in silence for a moment before I reached over and cupped Rashawn’s face. Refusing to miss the opportunity, I planted a kiss on Rashawn’s lips before he could refuse. My first kiss. Short and woodsy from the weed, yet I still craved more. I leaned over and pecked his lips again. That time, Rashawn slowly stuck his tongue in my mouth. I didn’t know what to do, so I mimicked his movements until I got the hang of it. Rashawn’s hands went to my side, pulling me closer, and I found my way on top of him. We locked lips until he slowly flipped me over. He broke the kiss and stared down at me while we panted for a few moments.
“Why did you stop?”
“I can’t have sex with you, Elise,” he declined.
“Why?” My face fell, and it looked like my change in demeanor pained Rashawn, too.
He pulled himself off me, and I lay there, embarrassed, my hands covering my face. Then the door closed and locked. “I know you are a virgin and you are not ready for sex, but we can do something else,” he grinned, walking back over to the bed. Confused, my eyes narrowed in on Rashawn. “You gotta trust me though.”
“Okay,” I nervously bit into my bottom lip, unsure of what to expect.
Rashawn walked back over to the bed, removed my bottoms, and turned the TV on for background noise. I never experienced the pain that Victoria spoke of, just the sinful pleasure Rashawn’s tongue bestowed upon me in secret every chance we got.
Every weekend since school started, Rashawn and Essex would come up. I was having the time of my life exploring and learning myself. Essex and Rashawn took me shopping, and I rebuilt my wardrobe. I discovered that Abercrombie jeans fit my body the best, and I even snagged some cute church clothes to replace the oversized dresses my mother bought me.
The first weekend after Rashawn gave me oral sex, I swore him to secrecy, and he complied. I knew I was asking him a lot to keep our relationship hidden from Essex, but he did it for me. We were absolutely smitten with each other, and surprisingly, Rashawn never pressured me for anything sexual in return. I was anticipating the day Rashawn tried to move past giving me oral sex, but it never happened until a decade later.
Essex and Victoria were deeply in love, making it easy to keep our escapades hidden. The couple would want alone time, which would leave time for me to spend with Rashawn. Rashawn had family in Tallahassee, making his cover easy as well.
“I really like you, Elise. More like, I love you.” Rashawn professed, wiping the remnants of my nectar from his lips.
His confession caught me off guard, but that didn’t stop my lips from curling upward. I stopped searching for my panties and leaned down to peck his lips instead. My favorite thing to do. The door creaking open sent us scrambling. Rashawn pulled my skirt down while I felt around the bed for my panties. When Rashawn knocked on my dorm room door, I was supposed to quickly gather an outfit for tomorrow, but one thing led to another, and my skirt was up, and my panties were discarded.
“Elise Marshay Hunter!” My father’s deep baritone sent me into shock.
I froze in place, my eyes widened, and my mouth ajar. My heart pounded in my chest, and I wished I could disappear. I thought we were rushing to get decent before Faith came through the door. I never expected my parents to be right behind her. Faith turned around with an evil smirk and rushed back out of the room after hitting me with the yikes face.
“I knew you were lying when you tried to explain away that picture, but I had a sliver of faith that we at least raised one child to walk the righteous path. This was Essex’s doing, wasn’t it? You don’t answer your phone for a month, and Faith told her mom that Essex and Rashawn are up here every weekend! You’ve taken something so sacred and treated it like it meant nothing, giving it away to trash,” he spat, eyes glancing over at Rashawn when he put the emphasis on trash, then they were right back on me. “You’re a disgrace.”
“Alright, pastor, I’mma suggest you brang ya voice down when speaking to her and respect both of us. Elise ain’t a disgrace, and I’m definitely not trash.” Rashawn slipped out of bed and slipped his feet back into his shoes.
