He reached over and gently swiped my tears away with his free hand. “What you don’t believe me?” Rashawn quizzed, hitting his blinker and pulling into a dark parking lot.
“I believe you,” I confirmed with a head nod.
“You don’t love me anymore?” Rashawn whispered, his words splintering in his throat.
“No, Rashawn. I love you very much,” I professed, leaning over to place my hand on his cheek.
Rashawn gripped my wrist and leaned over to unbuckle my seat belt. The polyester strap retracted, and he swiftly eased me into his lap. I inhaled his citrus woodsy scent as I laid my head on Rashawn’s chest, my legs dangling off the side of histhighs. Memories from college and the six weekends we spent in Lake Park came flooding back. I always loved lying my head on Rashawn’s chest, inhaling his comforting scent.
“I never stopped loving you,” I admitted. “You brought up my incident with Jermaine earlier, and what’s crazy is you’re the reason Jermaine lost his mind that day and gave me that black eye.”
“How the fuck?” He sputtered.
“After asking my father for my hand in marriage during church that Sunday, Jermaine proposed to me at dinner before I drove back home. It caught me off guard, but I said yes. Instead of solidifying our relationship, the proposal had the opposite effect. It made me realize that I loved Jermaine, but I wasn’t in love with him. I still wasn’t over what we had way back then. I used to journal to get my thoughts out back then, and I wrote all of my feelings down to help me sort them out. I was still in love with you. Jermaine never made me feel like you did. You would always have my heart. I missed the way you made my body feel. That’s the type of stuff Jermaine read when he decided to invade my privacy while he was at my house the next day.” Rashawn gently rubbed my back while I vented some of my inner thoughts. I paused to exhale before continuing.
“He accused me of having sex with you and lying about being a virgin. I told him the truth, we never had sex, but you gave me oral before. He didn’t believe me. Honestly, the only thing he was fixated on was the sex part,” I shook my head. “Jermaine didn’t really care that I said I wasn’t in love with him, or the fact that I was still in love with you. The only thing he cared about was the fact that we had been dating for a year and I hadn’t had sex with him, but I had sex with you. I threw the ring at Jermaine and told him to get out, and that’s when the scuffle started. Honestly, I handled Jermaine in that living room, but that first punch caught me off guard. I never thought he would haul offand punch me. But once I got my hands on Jermaine, I did him just how you did Reginald,” I snickered at the thought.
“We know you feel like you handled him, but you still should’ve told us. I could understand you leaving me in the dark. You were trying to wean yourself off me, and I was trying to do the same once you got with that fuck nigga. However, Essex never should’ve been left in the dark.”
“I didn’t want him to do exactly what he did. He could’ve went to prison,” I argued.
“Don’t matter,” Rashawn quipped.
“It does matter, Rashawn. It matters a lot. Stuff like that is what makes me scared to take that leap with you. You hit the nail on the head when you said forty is right around the corner. I want to have a family, even if we have to go through IVF or adopt. I’m willing to try all avenues necessary, but we can’t do that if you’re still not living right. I won’t bring a child into that lifestyle. I don’t want you to be out of the streets for a few months because you think it will make me happy. You have to make that decision for yourself. I don’t want you to resent me later down the line.”
“How can I resent you when the play has been in motion for months? I want this, I want us. Look at this smile,” Rashawn grinned, showing off his new porcelain veneers that replaced his diamond grill. I was still getting used to his pearly white teeth because he had the diamonds for over a decade. “I’m willing to do anything to prove that I’m serious. What do you want?”
“A year, Rashawn,” I perked up after tossing out my demand. Straddling Rashawn’s lap, I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his hands instinctively went to my waist. I loved it when he touched me anywhere, and I instantly regretted placing myself in the compromising position. Our closeness alone was threatening to make me combust. Rashawn leaned up andplaced a gentle kiss on the side of my neck and then my collarbone.
“Stop,” I squealed, pulling his face up so he was facing me. Closing my eyes, I had to inhale and exhale slowly to center myself. When my eyes popped open, Rashawn was licking his juicy lips like he wanted to eat me. “Don’t look at me like that, Rashawn,” I purred when I really wanted to groan.
I felt Rashawn grow in his Nike joggers. “Why would you say it like that? You just told him you don’t want me to stop for real,” he rasped, leaning up to peck my lips. “But I’ll respect your wishes if that’s what you want.”
My eyes left Rashawn’s handsome face, and I scanned the deserted dark parking lot. Feeling confident that we wouldn’t get caught, I leaned down and initiated another kiss. That time, it was long, deep, and it felt like Rashawn was trying to devour my tongue. We fell into the kiss, and a low moan escaped me. I hate to admit it, but I struggled with my sinful thoughts since Rashawn entered the hospital room and thoroughly cleaned his hands to hold Nova. He was unbelievably gentle and hands on with her since he arrived. It melted my heart and made me feel guilty.
Those thoughts were swiftly cleared from my mind when I felt Rashawn’s manhood at full attention. My hands trailed down to grip it; he still felt perfect. I pulled it out to get a good feel without the barrier of his boxers or joggers. The vein trailing up the right side was instantly familiar. Rashawn broke the kiss and licked up and down my neck, making my body shiver while his hands glided beneath my sweater. My head flew back and I grinded into Rashawn’s lap.
“Pull my bottoms down, please,” I pleaded.
“Shit, so polite when you ask. I missed that shit.” Rashawn slapped my butt, then jiggled it before he pulled my leggings down. My sweater still covered my butt as I slid down on the tip,then a few more inches before I stopped and enjoyed just that feeling. Rashawn looked up at me and gently massaged my clit, making me wetter. I was thankful for the assistance because if I slid down any further, I knew the discomfort would return, just like the first time. “You waited all these years, and that pussy not used to me no more.” He groaned, slapping my butt again with his free hand. “We can stop. Just let me eat it, Elise. It’s been five whole years since you let me in,” he rasped, bringing his fingers to his lips to lick my juices off.
Ignoring his request, I eased down further, knowing there would be pleasure at the end of the tunnel. Rashawn’s hands abandoned my butt, and he gripped my neck, bringing me down to kiss him. I tasted myself on his tongue and I secretly loved when he did that. His other hand went back to teasing my clit. The motions Rashawn was making on my love button were driving me crazy, making it easier for me to slide down and take in every thick inch.
Rashawn’s head leaned back, and sheer ecstasy washed over his handsome face. I slowly bounced up and down on all nine veiny inches, creating my own rhythm. After a few moments, Rashawn gently gripped my waist and quickened our pace.
“Fuckkkkkk, Elise! You see how good we feel when we come together? That don’t tell you we belong together?” Rashawn questioned, drilling me like he wanted to ruin me, and I enjoyed every second of it.
“Fuck, Rashawn. Yes, I see, baby. Remind me why we belong together,” I entreated, my hands wrapped around the back of his neck again. After my command, he bounced me faster and harder, slapping my butt every few thrusts.
“Yeah, bring Shay out. Show me that freaky side with that filthy mouth!”
“Only because you’re beating this pussy so good. Making me feel you everywhere,” I whispered before sucking on his neck.
The pain felt so good, and I bit down on Rashawn’s shoulder to stifle my screams. I sounded like he was killing me every time we had sex in the past, and I couldn’t help it.
On the brink of climaxing, I sat up and cupped my breasts through my sweater and pinched my nipples.
“You finna wet my dick up? That’s when you start grabbing them pretty ass titties,” Rashawn pointed out, before he leaned down to gently bite my nipples through my sweater.
