I can feel Emma’s disapproving stare on me, but I simply look up at her and shrug. The joke’s on her, because my pep talk totally works as she chases her son running toward the bathroom.
“I bet that’s the first time he’s ever been excited for bath time,” I joke, picking up our shot glasses and placing them in the sink.
“You do have a way with kids,” Henry says, smiling to himself. “However, let’s try to cut back on the dating tips. He’s too young to worry about impressing girls.”
“You’re never too young,” I wink, using the counter to prop myself up. Henry responds with a well-deserved eye roll that causes my smile to deflate into a half frown.
“What’s wrong?” Henry asks, concern digging into his brows.
I sigh, tilting my head to the side. “It’s nothing,” I begin, trying to push away the heavy weight on my chest, but it never makes me feel better. “Actually, it’s Emery.”
“Oh,” he says, pulling out a chair and locking in for a fun conversation. “I thought things were going well between you two. You haven’t been this invested in someone, well, ever. Or at least from what I can remember.”
I would pat myself on the back for putting on such a convincing show, but I know I haven’t been acting this whole time. Being Emery’s fake boyfriend has been the easiest job in the world because it never felt like a job. It felt like something real.
“I need to come clean about something,” I say, feeling the confession burning hot in the back of my throat. I know Emery and I promised each other we would keep our deal a secret, but I need to confide in someone.
“What is it?” Henry asks, sliding his glasses tighter to the bridge of his nose.
“I haven’t been completely honest about my relationship with Emery.”
His throat constricts and he leans closer. “What is it, Knox?”
I drag a hand down my face and collapse in one of the dining room chairs. “We were never actually dating. We just told people we were because of an arrangement we made.”
“What kind of arrangement?” Henry asks, his brotherly pride slipping from his face. My stomach sinks.
“I told myself that Dad was the only way to get Sal’s, and to make that happen, I needed to convince him…and the town that I was capable of change. But we both know how that worked out.”
He nods slowly before parting his lips. “And what about Emery? What was in it for her?”
“She needed her truck fixed, and I agreed to do it for free if she pretended to be my girlfriend. Pretty pathetic, right?”
“No,” Henry chuckles, making my chest feel the slightest bit lighter. But there is still a heavy and unrelenting weight. “It’s actually pretty smart, and you may have a future in public relations if the whole mechanic thing doesn’t work out.”
I let out an easy laugh before pressing my lips together and letting him continue. “But Knox, you didn’t need a fake relationship to show people you’ve changed. Dad is just a stubborn ass who will always be stuck in his ways. For what it’s worth, I’ve seen how hard you’ve been working. Even before all the bullshit with that teacher, I saw it. You’re in your twenties. You’re allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. And the people who judge you for it don’t deserve your apologies. I’ve watched you punish yourself for the last year, and it’s time to let that go.”
His words hit hard and land in every possible direction. It feels like everything he’s wanted to say but has been holding back. I grip the edge of the table and close my eyes. “I think I know that now, but it’s hard. It’s hard to feel worthy of…well, anything.”
Henry sits forward, steadying himself against the table. “You mean it’s hard to feel worthy of Emery.”
The conversation I had with Charlie snaps me into a state of déjà vu, but this time it’s my brother driving everything home. “Fuck, you’re good,” I say, leaning back in my chair. “Maybe it’s a little bit of that.”
“Maybe?” he asks with a knowing smirk. “I know a thing or two about not feeling worthy of someone great. Well, make that two someones.” He nods to a photo of him, Emma, and Milo, and a dizzy feeling bursts inside me.
“I tried to keep my distance at first, but I’ve always regretted letting her go the first time,” I sigh, remembering my dumbass teenage self. “And when I saw her again, it felt like a second chance—one I didn’t deserve to take. But I couldn’t stay away. It took me all summer, but I realized thateven if I don’t feel worthy of her, I’m going to work like hell to prove I am.”
Henry nods slowly and sits up straight in his chair. “Okay, in all seriousness. Knox, you’ve spent the whole summer trying not to fall for someone you convinced yourself you weren’t worthy of. But here’s the thing, you’ve more than proven to her that you’re the man you are, not the man you were. Now it’s up to her.”
“Up to her,” I repeat quietly. “I mean, I basically told her that I’d wait for her no matter what. Was that wrong to do? I thought it was romantic,” I mumble.
“Not necessarily,” Henry says with his eyes focused on me. “But even if you declare your love and feed her all the romantic lines in the book, you still can’t force her to be with you.”
“What if I forced her, but like in a hot way? Chicks are into kidnapping, right?” I smirk, but he doesn’t look amused.
“Listen. You’ve done your part. You’ve fought, you’ve been honest, you’ve risked. Now let her fight for you too. That’s how it’s supposed to work.”
I let out a slow, obnoxious sigh and let my arms hang at my sides. He’s right. He always is. But knowing what I should do doesn’t make it any easier.
