“Just when I think you’re being mature, you?—”
“Fine. I’ll shut up for once.”
I tip back my chin, surprised yet again. I clear my throat and continue my thought. “You were a jerk and made me feel like shit for taking that big of a leap, but you’re right, we were kids, and it was crazy for me to want to move somewhere after only seeing a guy for a few weeks. We weren’t even official, and I wanted to change my entire life for some good dick.”
I don’t mention the part about telling him I loved him, or how much it hurt when he froze up after I said it. I was okay with overlooking that detail.
Knox’s face lights up and turns toward me, the bench creaking beneath his weight. “You thought it wasgood?”
My eyes narrow. “That’s really what you want to take away from that?”
He chuckles and musters up a crooked grin. “If I made that big of an impression when I was sixteen, imagine what I could do now.”
Oh, I have, but I’m going to keep that information to myself. “You’re such a prick,” I say, reaching up to massage my temples.
He smiles again, but then it softens into something warm and tender. Not a cocky smile that saysI give good dick and know it—no, this is something more sincere. “But I meant what I said. I was an idiot and I’m not proud of hurting you.”
“Thank you for saying that,” I whisper, lowering my own gaze toward the ground. “Whether I want to admit it or not, it wrecked me.”
Knox’s brows pinch together like those words alone stirup the guilt displayed on his face. At least I know he isn’t completely unfazed.
We sit in silence again, but it doesn’t feel as suffocating as before. If anything, I can imagine the thick fog surrounding us starting to lift.
Knox bumps his shoulder against mine, pulling my attention back to our little bubble. “I don’t want to be that guy anymore.”
I stare at him with a skeptical look on my face. “An idiot?”
He laughs again and shakes his head. “That too. But also, the guy who breaks hearts and pretends not to care. I’m not saying I’m ready to start shopping for rings and strollers, but I do want to settle down someday. I want to find someone I can connect with for more than one night.”
“That’s really…sweet,” I say, rubbing my palms together. An unexpected warmth swirls at the base of my stomach.
“I’m just being honest,” Knox says, grabbing the bill of his hat and sliding it back to its rightful place. “Emery, we’re going to be spending a lot of time together these next few weeks, and as much as I love making you squirm, I don’t want this to be a painful experience for either of us. As crazy as it might sound, I’m a traditional guy, and I’d like to attempt to be civil with my fake girlfriend.”
I laugh, nodding my head. When our eyes meet, something shifts on his face. He’s wearing the same smile he always does, but there’s a soft satisfaction teeming behind his complexion.
“I’m not promising anything,” I mumble, rubbing my hands up and down my thighs, “but I’m willing to be less…hostile.”
The wall is still there—thick and impenetrable—but I’m a reasonable person. I can play nice when it’s mutually beneficial. And maybe someday when he stops driving me insane, we can be fri—nope. Not there yet.
“Okay, good.” He smiles, slapping his hands against hislegs and pushing his body off the bench. “Then let’s go back to the fair. I owe you a stuffed animal and a funnel cake.”
He holds out his hand, and I stare at it. It felt like our own personal white flag, and I didn’t have that nauseous feeling in my stomach anymore. But I was still a woman, and unfortunately, his touch sends small jolts of electricity across my skin that are getting difficult to ignore.
“New rule,” I say, ignoring his hand and standing up by myself. “No touching when no one’s looking. I don’t need you getting any ideas.”
His eyes sparkle, bouncing back into the comfort of our back-and-forth antics. “And what kind of ideas do you think I’m getting?”
“The idea that I like you,” I tease, easing back on the usual bite in my tone. “Being civil and liking someone are two totally different things.”
“Mhmm,” Knox hums to himself. “Fine, Bambi. All touching will be strictly performative and public.”
I roll my eyes, but reward him with a gentle smile. I can sense the ease of his shoulders every time I give him more than a frown or a scowl. We start walking back toward the neon lights shimmering off the hectic crowd that’s only seemed to grow larger since we got here.
“Are you actually good at any of these games? I don’t want to get my hopes up,” I ask, letting my arms dangle at my sides.
He scoffs, throwing a hand on his chest. “Please. I don’t know if you know this, Bambi, but I’m pretty much great at everything I do.”
“Right,” I deadpan. “How do you walk around with a head that big?”
