The words surprise me as they tumble out of my mouth. Knox was still the same annoying cocky bastard, but even I can admit he’s found the drive he was lacking when we were kids.
Marie leans back and quietly assesses whether my words hold any weight. “And you trust him now? With your heart?”
I numbly chew the inside of my cheek, biting back the no forming on my lips. “I don’t know if I trust anyone with my heart,” I scoff, trying to lighten my words with a low chuckle, “but I trust that he’s trying hard to earn that right and that has to count for something, right?”
She studies me more before slowly nodding. “Yeah, it does.”
I relax, but still feel guilt pressing deep inside my abdomen. There’s a lull between us as we both watch a group of kids run past with candy apples and cheap stuffed animals balanced in their hands. Marie watches them with the peaceful longing of nostalgia before turning back to me.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t hate Knox. He’s always been kind where it counts. But if he breaks your heart again, I’m fully prepared to shave his head in his sleep.”
“Oh no,” I laugh, picturing how Knox would look bald. “I’m going to hold you to that. He’d be nothing without his hair.”
“Exactly,” Marie winks, leaning forward with a satisfied look.
“I missed you,” I sigh, wiping a stray tear from the corner of my eye. Before I can say anything else, a familiar voice calls out from behind us.
“There you are,” Knox huffs. “I’ve been looking all over this damn fair for you.”
He jogs up, slightly out of breath with his baseball cap turned backward—aka my secret kryptonite. That and lip piercings, but that was between me and my very short-lived Tumblr boy phase.
I stare at him and almost forget that I’m upset with him.Almost.
Marie crosses her legs intimidatingly. “We were just talking about you.”
Knox blinks slowly but tries to cover up the nervous energy radiating off him with a cool side smile. “All good things, I hope.”
“Don’t worry, lover boy. I’ve decided not to castrate you yet, but the night is young, so don’t get comfortable.”
He swallows hard, making me choke down a laugh. “It’s always a pleasure, Marie.”
Marie snaps her lips into a tight smile. “I know,” she says sweetly, getting up from her seat and giving him a light pat before turning back to me. “Make this loser win you a stuffed animal, Em. It’s the least he can do.”
I shoot her the world’s biggest smile before she disappears into the crowd in front of us. I am going to buy her the biggest bottle of wine and whatever else her heart desires.
“That went better than I expected,” Knox says, sliding into the seat next to me. I want to create more distance betweenour bodies, but unfortunately, I’m at the end of the bench. I didn’t realize how small it was until he sat down.
“Yes,” I say coldly, my irritation starting to boil over again. A painful silence wraps around us, and I’m tempted to get up and leave, but I don’t want to give him the easy out again.
I expect Knox to make some stupid comment or excuse about how I need to be better at pretending to like him, but his typical happy-go-lucky energy has shifted. It throws me off.
“Emery, I’m sorry,” Knox says, resting his elbows against his knees.
“Wait, what?” I say, angling my body toward his.
“I thought we could forget about what happened between us and move on. I was perfectly fine with the idea of you hating me. I thought it would make our arrangement easier. But then I saw the anger in your eyes when we were talking to Beau, and I realized I never apologized for hurting you.”
My mouth goes dry, and my tongue feels unbearably heavy. “I wasn’t upset about that. I?—”
“I know,” he says, cutting me off. “You were upset about me getting off easy and being labeled as the heartbroken one instead of the heartbreaker. I get it. But there’s something you need to understand.”
He sighs and runs a hand over his clean-shaven face. “Iwasupset when you left. I really liked you, Emery, and we did have a special connection, even if my sixteen-year-old self couldn’t see it at the time. I was an idiot for hurting you like that, and I could’ve handled it a lot better, but we were also just kids. The thought of you making that big a decision for me was terrifying. I’m not justifying my reaction, but you have to understand that.”
I blink once. Then again, slower, trying to comprehend the most adult conversation I’ve ever had with this man. My skin seemed to cling to my body in a way that made me very aware of the uncomfortable emotions running through me.
“I—” I pause, torn between all of the hurt I’ve kept bottled up for years and the sweet feeling of closure just within arm’s reach. “You’re right.”
“Can you repeat that?” he asks, keeping his eyes pointed at the ground.
