I shook my head. “No. It’s not. It’s about how you make me feel—and if you would have pulled your head out of your ass for two minutes you would have seen that I always feel safest when I’m around you all. Bedivere, you especially have been a presence that I didn’t know I would miss so much until you started to avoid me. Imissedyou. Shouldn’t that be enough?”
“I… I have never thought of it in such a way,” Bedivere finally admitted.
“Do you not like me?” My voice cracked with the vulnerability of my question as I put myself out there for these men to stomp all over yet again.
Bedivere’s silver eyes finally met mine, an emotion swelling in them that I had not seen before. “How could I not, Guinevere? How could any man living not?”
“I’m not asking about any man. I’m asking about you.”
Go easy on him, he has had much to think about over the past few days,Merlin whispered into my mind, but I ignored him. I wanted to hear Bedivere’s answer.
“Do you like me?” I repeated more simply this time, my heart in my throat.
Bedivere’s fists clenched on top of the table before he finally nodded. “More than you shall ever know.”
The relief I felt at his words was intense and I had to keep myself from grinning like an idiot. “Okay then. That’s all I need.”
I stood up from my seat and rounded the table.
“What are you—?” Bedivere began as I leaned over him, pushing down the nerves that I was feeling, and pressed my lips to his.
His deep, warm sandalwood scent filled my nose as he made a shocked noise that was muffled by our joined mouths.
It was a soft, slow kiss that I had to take the lead on, but it still sent shivers of anticipation through me as I finally pulled away.
“Guinevere?” he asked, his mouth agape as he stared at me with awe.
“I’ve been wanting to do that,” I told him simply before turning my sights to Merlin while keeping my hands firmly planted on Bedivere’s shoulders, half-afraid the alpha would bolt if I let him go. “What about you?”
“What about me?” Merlin asked, looking just as astonished as Bedivere did. His freckled face was flushed right up to his curly brown hair making the wizard look more adorable than I’d ever seen him.
“Do you like me?”
“It is not as simple as that…”
I just shrugged and moved to leave, but Merlin’s hand shot out to grab mine.
“That does not mean to run away, Gwen,” he said, his voice exasperated as he tugged me around to face him. “I have no experience in matters such as this. I spent ten years in a cave. A cave! Before that I was just Arthur’s advisor and most women avoided me as a rule. Is it not obvious why this would not be simple for me?”
“Give him a moment, Guinevere,” Bedivere said from behind me.
I tossed a frown over my shoulder at the alpha. “Are you guys reading each other’s minds right now?”
Bedivere’s brows drew together in confusion. “No, how could we?”
He and I have had much time to talk over the past few days,Merlin said into my mind.It is as if we are two sides of the same coin: a man fated to you but unsure of if he deserves such a fate, and a man who has no fate but has many feelings for someone he should not.
“Fate is overrated,” I told him out loud, thinking of the absolutely bullshit fate that was meant for me and the men around me. There was not a chance in hell I was going to let that happen. “I want you—my magic wants you—shouldn’t that be enough?”
Merlin finally nodded, his fingers sliding up from my hand and over the thudding pulse in my wrist. “I believe it is, but forgive me if I am anxious. The gods have been showing meless-and-less ever since I pulled you here and I do not like not knowing what the future will hold.”
“Then trust in me.” I leaned down and pressed my forehead to his, my skin tingling where it met his. “I do know what the future holds and I know, above all else, that I want you in mine.”
Then, just as I had with Bedivere, I let my lips drift down to his, gasping when I felt our magic rise up like waves to meet each other. Before when we would transfer magic through holding hands it had felt like a slow, steady stream, but now it felt like a flood that I never wanted to let go of.
All too soon I was pulling away from him, I needed to be downstairs soon in order to go through the castle storage with Andrivete to get ready for the summer harvest and I also wanted to give them time to think about what we said here today.
“I have to go now,” I whispered, taking a step back so that I could see both of them. There was a desire in their eyes that made my insides twist with need, but I ignored it.
