23
Cooper
Istare at the textI received from Shiva while I wait for my order.I placed a bulk order for the anniversary party of my gallery, which I am hosting tonight for my small team of employees.Shiva was my mentor during the art program I did in Chennai.I experienced so much from being there, the kind and supportive people, the talent that resides in the professors and students and the general beauty of the city.It was some of the best food that I’ve ever tasted – masala dosa and sambar being the best – and it made me feel closer to Luna even though I was far from her.
Shiva made me try new ways of painting that I would have never dared to try on my own, and he helped me hone in on my existing skills and creative vision.He could have been like every other professor I have dealt with – teach and move on – but he genuinely made an effort to connect with me as a person, and he gave me space to talk about my problems even after I moved back to London.Sometimes I wish he were my father because he has been more of a father to me than the person I am related to by blood.
After meeting Luna yesterday and watching her react to seeing me again, I spiralled out of control.I talked to Leo about it for an hour, after which he suggested I should get an opinion from a different perspective, which was Shiva’s.Shiva texted me back this morning, asking me to take things slow and not overthink about her reaction.He also gently nudged me to remember all the work I did with my therapist, whom I started seeing six months after Luna and I broke up.
My train of thoughts breaks when the cafe door chimes, and I turn towards the door.It became a reflex after Luna left.I always hoped it would be her walking through the door, but it never was.I thought I stopped hoping for it to be her, but I guess the reflex turned into a habit at some point.
I look back at my phone, but my brain finally catches up, and I do a double-take because it is her this time, in the flesh.My breath hitches, and I try my best to stay still so that I don’t scare her away.I have been willing the universe to put her in front of me again ever since I saw her in Wetherspoons, and here she is – in a blue cottage dress, her hair wavy and sticky from the heat, her cheeks flushed and faint lines on her face from all the years we spent apart.
She freezes on the spot and doesn’t move until a few seconds pass by, but surprisingly, instead of running away, she makes her way towards me or rather, towards the till.A soft hi escapes my lips as she stands next to me.She nods her head and smiles, but goes straight to the till to order her usual.When she gets her order made to-go, she finally turns towards me.Her eyes meet mine again.‘Hi,’ she says.
‘Hi again, Luna, sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk properly yesterday.’I hope this conversation continues for longer than yesterday.I have so much I want to tell her.
‘I suppose my running out of the pub could have had something to do with it,’ she says, her lips curving into a smile.
The tension in me subsides watching her smile.My heart aches for having missed the way her smile has changed since the last time I saw her.She smiles wider now, not restrained.I missed so many years of her life, and I can’t help but feel guilty for it.I had my reasons to break us off, which my therapist has been kind enough to support me through while I accepted it.But I hate that I hurt her the way she never expected me to.
I must have been quiet for a long time.‘Umm, it is nice seeing you here, Cooper,’ Luna says before turning towards the door.
Her saying my name after all these years with the same ease sends a fleeting high through my body.As if I had taken a dose of a drug.I bite the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from smiling.‘Sorry, uh, can I- Can I walk with you?’
She hesitates for a second, and I brace myself for the pain of the no that was going to come out of her mouth.
‘Yeah, why not?’she says, diffusing all the doubt.
Once I get my order, we walk out of the cafe.She opens the bag she is holding to smell the croissant, and lets out a hum.She always hummed when something was to her liking.I missed seeing her little quirks.
She notices me looking at her and pauses awkwardly mid-chewing – the flakes of puff pastry splattered around her lips like the toys on the floor of a playschool – and points the croissant towards me while raising her eyebrows as if to ask a question.
‘No, thank you.I wouldn’t want to be the idiotic guy who takes away John Wick’s puppy from him,’ I respond to her silent question.
She stares at me unblinking for a second and bursts into laughter.A rush of satisfaction goes through me knowing that I am the reason behind her laugh.I like hearing the sound of her laughter again.It sounds like rainfall on a particularly hot day.
The laugh escapes her entirely, and she comes back to talking again.‘It was nice seeing you yesterday after the last time at Box Hill.’She looks down at the croissant, and her voice comes out quieter.
I clear my throat and look away.‘Yeah, it was nice seeing you, too, Luna.’
The tension is thick between us.‘I heard you opened a gallery?’she says, diverting the conversation to something else.
My brain whirs.Did she want to know something about my life?Still?Even after everything I did?I try to control my excitement.‘I did.It’s calledInfinite.’
‘It sounds beautiful.’
‘Do you want to visit?We are having an anniversary party for the gallery tonight.’I follow with an invitation without wasting a second.There’s nothing I would like more than her visiting my gallery, and to also be able to spend time with her.
The way her step faltered momentarily conveys her hesitation.I prepare myself to face her rejection, but she takes me by surprise.
‘I would actually love to, Cooper,’ she says, her smile as bright as the sun that is reaching a crescendo in the afternoon sky above us.
I slowly process her response, but I don’t want to leave her waiting for any more than a second.‘How does 8 PM sound?’I raise my hand and wait for her to shake it; old habits die hard after all.
She slips her hand into mine and shakes it gently.‘Deal.’
