“Didn’t I teach you anything?” Luz shrieked. “What have I been telling you about protecting your heart? What have I said about associating with Adam Markland? It’s a bad, bad idea, because he’s a bad, bad man.”
“Not so long ago, someone was sobbing into my pillow because the man of his dreams didn’t want him,” I reminded him. “And what are these two doing now?”
“Getting married,” Luz admitted. “But it was different with Bazooka and me. He’s not an asshole.”
“Well, neither is Adam,” I stated. “You don’t know him. I don’t think anyone knows him. There’s more to him than what meets the eye.”
“Then you should have your eyes checked,” Luz countered. “By the way, did you call yourself gay? Or did I hear you wrong?”
“No. I mean, I am. Or I think I am,” I mused. “I mean, I’m gay around him so… I guess I am.”
Luz let out a heavy sigh before speaking.
“Okay, look… As far as your sexuality is concerned, you’ll figure it out. It’s normal to feel confused, so give yourself some time. As far as that other thing… I’ll try to say this without imagining that jerk anywhere near you or your ass, but it will fit, okay? You don’t have to worry about that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Did he have anal sex before?”
“I don’t know.”
“It doesn’t matter. I saw him handling his gun, and that guy is good with his hands. That’s the only credit I’ll give him for thetime being. For the record, I still think this will bite you in the ass, and I don’t mean it literally. When are you seeing him?”
“Tonight. He’s going to cook us dinner.”
“He can cook? Like something other than eggs?”
“I didn’t believe it either, but I guess I’ll find out. I’ll send you a pic.”
“Do that. I’ll definitely need proof.”
“I also tried that butt plug thingie,” I whispered. “Not bad. Not bad at all. It seemed stuck in my ass for a moment, but it was only my nerves.”
Luz groaned. “Too much information, Jordie.”
“I kinda liked it. I mean, being stuffed like that.”
“Okay, I’m hanging up.”
After that little chat, I took a shower and spent half an hour trying to decide what to wear. When Adam texted me his address, I breathed a sigh of relief. So, he didn’t change his mind. Should I, though? I feared that visiting him would jeopardize our fragile friendship. Was it even friendship? Connection? Codependency? Plain, old sexual attraction? Despite all that, not going wasn’t an option, so I left my apartment and all the doubts behind me.
When I finally reached Adam’s building, I was a bundle of nerves. My shirt, which I thought looked good on me, seemed wrinkled. The wine I bought wasn’t expensive enough, and the lube in my back pocket began to seem like a bad idea. The only thing I knew, the only thing I kept repeating to myself in my head was,play it cool.
When Adam opened the door, sporting gray sweatpants, a plain white T-shirt, and a semi, reality sank in. It was really happening. We were really doing this. His blue gaze held a challenge, as if we were playing a weird game of gay chicken, one waiting for the other to change his mind. He was also sexy, barefoot, and he smelled like shampoo.
“I thought you weren’t gonna come,” he said, smirking.
“I thought you weren’t gonna let me in,” I blurted. “Here.”
I handed him the wine, passing by him as he closed the door behind us.
“Thank you. Make yourself at home.”
After he disappeared into the apartment, I tossed the lube behind a potted plant in the hallway. Why? In case he decided to call off the sex thing, I could pretend I wasn’t planning it either.
I was still standing there when Adam reappeared.
“Are you coming in or running away?” he said, giving me a once-over. “You look cute, by the way. Did you dress up for me?”
