“That’s obvious,” I said. “First, we won’t be meeting John Smith because you made that up, probably because you were jealous.”
“Of whom?” Jordan exclaimed, sounding outraged. “Of what’s-her-name? Oh, please.”
“You know her name, Jordan. Behave. Second, later today, you will come to my place, and I will make you dinner.”
“Oh, the famous dinner,” Jordan mocked me. “Which will prove how great a cook you are.”
“Exactly. And after that dinner, I will ask you to stay the night. For free. I’m not paying you another cent for that sleepover shit. You’re robbing me blind.”
Jordan grinned. “And then?”
“And then,” I said, sipping my drink. “You will find out how it feels to be fucked by a man.”
Jordan
If someone told me that I would find myself in this situation, I would tell him he should have his head examined, but here I was, trying to shove a butt plug into my ass. It was… not an entirely comfortable endeavor. First, I wasn’t a small guy or insanely flexible, so this type of bending presented a challenge. After I finally got the damn thing inside me, I was breathless and sweaty, but my dick was hard as a rock. It told me I wason the right track, despite the previous “Are you insane?”, “Are you sure?”, and “You can always change your mind”. My only concern was that the butt plug couldn’t compare to the anaconda in Adam’s pants, so I decided to get some advice and called Luz.
“About time,” Luz said after the first ring. “Please explain your weird behavior and try not to piss me off. Bazooka already did that, so Mr. I’m Always Right now sleeps on the couch.”
I chuckled. “For how long?”
“It started this morning, and it will last until tonight,” Luz replied. “I’m not a monster. What are you doing?”
“Yoga,” I blurted.
It was the only polite activity I could think of instead of saying what I’d really been doing.
“Since when are you into yoga?”
“Since today. Anyway… I have a question.”
“Okay?”
“You’re a bottom, right?”
Luz snorted. “And you call yourself a detective.”
“It was a rhetorical question and a segue into another question. Anyway, how do you deal with the proportions of the… you know what?”
“If you’re asking me what I think you’re asking me, my answer is happily,” Luz mocked me. “Why the sudden interest in my sex life?”
“No, it’s… for the case I’m working on.”
“Which case?” he said, sounding suspicious.
“There’s a case where this guy… let’s say the potential victim is gay. And this other dude is, like, insanely well-proportioned, right? So, this potential victim has concerns about his… anal safety.”
“I’m going out on a limb here, but does this have anything to do with Adam Markland?”
“Maybe?” I squeaked.
“Jordie, please don’t tell me you have been doing sexual stuff with Adam Markland.”
“I have been doing sexual stuff with Adam Markland.”
“And you’re considering letting him near your ass.”
“I’m considering letting him near my ass.”
