I lower my gaze to my hands and blow out a long breath. “Hayden and I had sex.”
She stares at me, a deep crease between her eyebrows. “And how was it?”
“It was good.” My body heats, half in embarrassment and half in response to the memories still haunting me. “More than good, actually. He was gentle at first, then rough when I needed him to be. Powerful. Confident.” I sigh. “It was the best sex of my life.”
Forearms on the table, she angles in closer. “Why do I sense a ‘but’ in all this?”
I lift a shoulder, spinning my coffee cup in front of me. “Because there is one. We agreed it was just one time. It won’t happen again.”
She grasps my hand and squeezes. “And that’s what you want?”
My heart aches—not only for Hayden, but because my friend is truly concerned for me. “That’s what we agreed on.”
She sighs. “I’m happy he treated you well. You’re an adult. You know what’s best for you, and you know what you can and cannot handle.” She purses her lips. “Just…considering your feelings for him, please be careful. If you want more and he doesn’t, then you need to leave. Please don’t let him break your heart.”
I nod, my eyes filling with tears.
With a soft tut, she scoots around the table and wraps her arm around my shoulders. I lean my head against hers, sighing deeply.
What I don’t say—and what she likely already knows—is that I do want more, and I set myself up for heartbreak a long time ago.
The penthouse isquiet when I step out of the elevator hours later.
But it smells like him. I close my eyes and focus on breathing.
I need to get over it. He gave me what I asked for: a night to remember, feelings I will never forget. The best sex of my life. But that’s all there is to it. The moment I woke up alone in his bed, our agreement was done.
But I don’t regret it.
I shower, put on a white hoodie and black leggings, then wander to the kitchen. With practiced efficiency, I throw together a pot of spaghetti. He still isn’t home by the time it’s ready, so I sit alone, but I’ve lost my appetite. His absence worries me. Is he busy or avoiding me?
When my mom calls, I’m thankful for the distraction. She’s thrilled when I tell her I made Wade’s spaghetti recipe.
She’s changed since she met her husband. It’s like he taught her how to love again. Her relationship with me, and especially with Piper, changed drastically after she and Wade started dating. She’s always cared for us, but now, she’s more comfortable showing it.
After the call, I clean up, tossing my uneaten spaghetti into the trash can then loading the dishwasher. Back in my room, I flop onto the bed. My mood is all over the place.
When my phone pings, I jackknife up and snatch it from the comforter.
Hade:
I ended up in the studio with Jimmy and Bo. I’ll be super late, so unfortunately, no Arcane for me. Have fun.
My heart sinks.Fun? That’s definitely not in the cards tonight. At least I know he’s busy and not avoiding me.
Rather thanArcane, I cue up one of my favorite movies. Snuggled under the blankets with my laptop, I hit play and force myself to focus onA Walk to Remember.
All I need is a good cry.
20
today is going to be a disaster
HAYDEN
By some miracle,I remained cool and collected on the outside this morning while on the inside, I was obsessing over her. Over us. While I was physically in the kitchen with her, mentally, I was in my bedroom, tangled up with her in my sheets, surrounded by her scent, her taste, her sounds.
Just once…yeah, right. As if I don’t want to do it all over again and again and again.
