So this…
I don’t like it. A sick knot settles in my gut as I break out into a cold sweat.
“And yet with Daisy, you’re tucking your tail between your legs and running away as fast as you can.”
My throat closes, making it difficult to breathe. His assessment of the situation is spot on. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to admit it. I can barely acknowledge it to myself, let alone him.
I clear my throat. “That’s not what I’m doing.” It takes effort to keep my voice level.
“The hell you are,” Noah snaps. “First you avoid Daisy, and now my parents? You won’t come back to the apartment. What’s next?” His lips flatten into a thin line and his eyes turn hard. “You gonna avoid me, too?”
I plow a hand through my hair and glance away.
How can I argue with him?
He’s right on all accounts and we both know it.
“It’s not that simple,” I rasp.
“Who the fuck said it would be?” There’s a pause. “I know how you feel about Daisy.”
My gaze lifts reluctantly to his.
“I also realize you’ve always felt that way about her,” he continues.
I shake my head as more lies fall from my lips. “No. I?—”
“Who the hell are you trying to fool?” He plants a hand on his chest and jerks his brows. “Me?” He shakes his head and smirks. “Nah, I’ve always been onto you, man.”
When I sit there mutely, he continues. “You know, when Mom first mentioned your interest in Daisy freshman year, I didn’t see what she was talking about but then I watched you for a while and realized that she was right. You’d push Daisy’s buttons and piss her off to keep her away but that didn’t work, did it?”
My head spins.
Marnie knew how I felt the entire time?
Noah, too?
“Why didn’t you say something?” I mumble, feeling like a jackass.
Noah shrugs. “It wasn’t my place. Plus, I was afraid Daisy wouldjust mess with your head and move onto the next hapless victim, but you know what? You’re the one who’s fucked everything up, not her.”
Noah doesn’t sugarcoat his explanation.
“She deserves better than me.” My voice rises as panic sets in, and I throw my arms wide. “You saw what almost happened. If Daisy hadn’t stopped me…” My words trail off as I choke on the fear rising in my throat. “Who knows what I would have done? What I’m capable of.”
Noah’s lip curls and he snorts, “After what that guy did to Daisy, he deserved whatever punishment you would have meted out. He was drunk and acting like an asshole!” His expression sobers. “I’ve heard that he’s pulled this crap before.” Noah folds his arms across his chest. “My guess is that he won’t be so quick to manhandle a woman next time. I have no problem with how you handled the situation.” He glares and reiterates, “Not one damn bit.”
A heavy bleakness churns in me, threatening to swallow me whole. “You don’t have the propensity for violence that I do.”
He stabs a finger in my direction. “That’s bullshit, and you know it!”
I hang my head between my shoulders and stare at the rubber mat beneath my feet. “Is it?”
“You’re looking for any excuse to cut and run. And this is the one you’ve latched onto. You better open your fucking eyes and see what you’re about to lose before it’s too late.”
There’s a hopeful part in me that wants to believe what he’s saying.
But I’ve walked around with this narrative in my head for too many years to abandon it so easily. “I would have fucked up my relationship with Daisy either way. It’s better for the both of us that it ended now rather than later.”
