“You stopped yourself from doing it, Carter. That’s something your father never would have done,” I remind him.
He bites his lip as hope and doubt flicker across his face. For a moment I wonder if maybe we’re making headway. But his next words prove just how wrong I am.
“I can’t be in a relationship right now.” His gaze locks on mine, arrowing right to the heart of me. “I can’t be with you.”
What he’s saying rips all my hope to shreds. My first impulse is to reason with him, but I can talk until I’m blue in the face and that won’t change his mind. Carter believes that he and his father are cut from the same cloth. Nothing I say will change that.
It saddens me because nothing could be further from the truth.
There’s a viciousness to Philip Prescott that Carter could never possess. I’m not only heartbroken for myself, but for Carter as well because he’s cheating himself out of something wonderful. He’s unwilling to open himself up and take a chance.
The years he spent sleeping around and avoiding relationships now makes so much sense. Again, I’d assumed he was like a lot of guys around here, wanting to screw as many girls as possible, but that’s not the case. His issues lie so much deeper than that.
Perhaps too deep for me to battle on my own.
“Okay,” I sigh.
“Okay?” His eyes widen.
“What do you want me to say?” I shrug as a calmness steals over me that I didn’t think was possible. “Do you want me to argue with you? To try and convince you that we should be together?”
Slowly he shakes his head. “No.”
There is a wealth of sadness in that word.
Carter twists his hands until they’re able to clasp mine. The fist that had been clenching my heart for the last two weeks loosens.
Just a bit.
Just enough for me to breathe again.
This isn’t the way I wanted our relationship to end, but it’s for the best.
“I care about you, Carter. More than I’ve cared for anyone else.” I keep my gaze trained on his, wanting him to accept the sincerity of my words. “I hope you realize that.” Before he can formulate a response, I add, “But I won’t beg you to be with me.”
With our hands clasped, I close the distance until I can press mylips against his. He opens willingly, surprising me again. My tongue slips inside his mouth to mingle and dance.
This is goodbye.
When I pull away, the sorrow filling his eyes tells me he understands that as well.
41
CARTER
As I lay on the bench in the gym and raise the bar before lowering it to my chest again, everything Daisy said the other day circles through my head. There’s a part of me that’s relieved by her acceptance of the situation. And then there’s a part that fucking hates it and doesn’t want to let her walk away.
But what can I do?
This is the way it needs to be. And yet, I can’t get her out of my head. She’s persistent as fuck. That’s always been the problem when it comes to Daisy. At some point, I have to reconcile myself to the fact that the emotions she stirs in me aren’t going to disappear overnight, no matter how much I might wish otherwise. She’s always meant more which is precisely why I need to proceed with caution.
I can’t take one step back and expect it to be enough.
I need to take ten.
Maybe twenty.
Irritated with myself for getting sucked into another Daisy loop, I refocus my attention and slowly lift the weights above my chest. When I hit the twentieth rep, I place the bar back on the stand and use my forearm to wipe the sweat from my brow. My muscles are fatigued, which is exactly what I want. I’m here so that I’ll stopthinking about the blonde bombshell but it’s not working. No matter where I go or what I do, there she is. Maybe not physically, but mentally.
