Seeing how much pain they were in for so many years has my soul fracturing. My heart falling out of my ass and bouncing across the floor, ashamed to be associated with me. I may not have had a say in my kidnapping and rationally I know that it’s not my direct fault. Especially since I only just escaped a little over a year ago. However, the irrational part of my mind has thrown a tangent, blaming me for hurting them for so long.
My ears perk back up when the topic of their love lives gets brought up. The ball in my throat chokes me, terrified to hear if they’re taken. I haven’t noticed any wedding bands, and something tells me, if they did have wives, they wouldn’t be living with them here. It nearly floors me to know that only Ryder has a reoccurring occasional fling. Or that Max is the only one to have had a real relationship lasting more than a weekend.
“So… what? You guys take a vow of celibacy or something? Turn into Buddhist monks? Come on, you’ve got to be fucking with me. You’re all attractive, respectable, and financially well off. Shouldn’t there be women hanging off you like jewelry?”
They each look at one another, their heads twisting and turning like they’re on a swivel pad. None of them know how to answer, and Iswearthey actually look confused.
“Did ya’ll just, what? Not bother to look in a mirror? What’s with the confusion?” I ask, my brows threading together tightly.
“Uhh, I guess we just never noticed that none of us have. We’ve never really cared to have anyone around that much. Never needed to have someone lingering,” Max provides, biting at the inside of his cheek.
“Yeah, I mean, we’ve all had the casual hook-up,” Zane begins before Kade coughs, interrupting him. “Okay, somostof us have…,” he amends, glaring at a brightly smiling Kade.
What the hell was that?
“But Max has had the longest thing with that one girl, Mary or whatever. Even then it was only like… a couple of months before they split,” Zane finally finishes.
“Twelve years,” I mutter under my breath, but of course they catch it.
“What?” Kade asks.
“Over a decade, and none of you have had a long-time girl. Have experienced love first hand or the rush of starting something new with someone?”
Each of them shake their heads back at me, blinking slowly.
Damn, and I thought I was alone.
Four heads snap in my direction, and it takes less than a minute for me to realize I accidentally said that last bit out loud. Before they can interrogate me on why I would compare, I excuse myself on the notion of exhaustion.
Standing with an exaggerated stretch, I force a yawn before making tracks for the stairs and the safety of my new room.
“Good night,” I call from the top, receiving four harmonious responses before the click of my door seals me in for the night.
One day down, and only a minor slip up.
One to go.
Chapter Sixteen
Zane
With Bear shuffling away like someone set her ass on fire, unease and tension blankets the rest of us. Fuck, how I wish I could join her and escape the suffocating air that has lowered within the room. Not only would I like to stave off the embarrassment I feel brewing low in my gut, but I would give anything to lay beside her. Cuddling her and having her wrapped up in my arms.
No one has moved from their spot, the topic of relationships seems to have stunned all of us this evening, and I begin toreallythink back through the years. Thinking about that specific part of all of our lives. How none of us have ever really put forth any effort into starting a relationship with someone, let alonemaintaining one for any length of time. That no females have ever been around the house, and I would know if they had, we share everything.
“So…,” I stumble out, starting what is going to be an either enlightening or very uncomfortable conversation. “Whyhaven’tany of us ever dated?”
I know my answer. It’s five-foot-four, has green eyes, and is currently sleeping on the floor above me. It’s never crossed my mind to be with anyone else. Never even considered that someonecouldbe by my side for the long term. Not unless it was her, it’s always beenher.
“Uhh… well…” Max stutters.
For the first time, I really look at my brothers/best friends. Each one of their eyes are stealing glances towards the stairs, following the ghost of her presence. Cheeks are turning crimson and breaths are getting heavier on everyone except Ry. They’re embarrassed, secretive, and something tells me it’s not because they want to flee this situation that they are baffled.
“Wait a minute. Hold up,” I squeak as realization hits with the force of a hurricane. I see their looks, Iknowthose looks. “If my instinct is correct, and I really think it is, are we…” I trail off, not sure I can put the actual thought to words. Once it’s out there, there’s no more hiding.
“All in love with Bear?” Kade concludes and I tip my head in thanks as he continues without missing a beat. “I know I am. That’s why I’ve never been with anyone. I’ve known for as long as I can remember that I want her to be my first, last, and only.”
“I’ve loved that woman since we were thirteen years old. The day we jokingly made the marriage pact, that if we turned forty and were still single, we would choose each other. I looked at her that day, her green eyes glistening as we stared out over the valley, and I knew,” I confess, the memory pulling at the chambers of my heart.
