“She’s one of a kind, something truly special, and there hasn’t been a day where I’ve wanted to be without her. When I see myself at sixty, seventy, eighty years old. She’s right there beside me, still gorgeous, still radiant.” Max slumps, his body folding into the couch as if being dissolved by the fabric.
My head nods on repeat, looking like a fricken bobble head at this point as I listen to their confessions. Ones which are mirrored by my own thoughts and emotions. Until my gaze lands on a still very silent Ryder.
“What about you, Ry?” I probe, wondering if this is going to be a home run in the feelings department.
Which, I’m not entirely sure if it’s a good thing or bad thing as of yet.
“When we were little, I used to watch her relentlessly. Sassy yet sweet, tough yet vulnerable, she was a walking oxymoron, but I was amazed by her. As I watched, it had me questioning everything from the actions I made, to the reactions I gave. I wanted to mimic her mannerisms, oddities, hell I even tried to emulate how she carried herself. I saw everything she did as a goal, and I idolized her. She was everything I ever wanted to be and when she went missing, I felt like a huge part of me disappeared with her. Like the light within me had been ripped from my chest for her to take. Now that she’s back, physically here right in front of me, to touch, to see…” He trails off, rubbing at his chest hard. “I can feel a flicker of the light returning. Reignited by her presence. I never thought I’d feel it again, Z. I fucking love that girl.”
Ry’s eyes bore into the hardwood floor, drilling holes with their intensity as he tries to keep the tears at bay. There is no doubt in my head that he means what he said. Out of the four of us, her disappearance had the most effect on him. His care free attitude transformed. Contorted into a rage and darkness I’ve seen come out in his matches. His anger fueled by the reminder that she was gone.
Our confessions hang in the air as the room quiets to an eerie silence. There it is, for all to hear and see, four men all completely and entirely devoted to the same woman. Four hearts who only beat for one.
“So, what happens now?” Max finally asks, breaking the quiet shroud around us.
I don’t know how to answer him. Not without hurting everyone, myself included. I recognize the emotions that dance across all their faces. Delight from finding her after all these years, alive and beautiful. Anger and frustration as we try to piece together her past with what little information she provides. Confusion as to why she keeps trying to leave, every other phrase from her lips a reminder shewants to go. Sadness at knowing that each one of us has loved her since childhood, and yet never seen it within each other. Bringing us to this situation now, where we’ve pined for her for over a decade and are reluctant to give up so easily.
No matter what direction we move in, someone here is getting hurt. But the choice has to be ours on if it will be a little or a lot of pain. And if that pain will be worth seeing her happy.
“Well, I guess that means we make a pact. One that states that none of us can pursue her, since we all can’t have her,” Kade says with a sigh, readying his phone’s notepad to jot down the agreement.
His comment though, about all of us not being able to have her, stirs an old memory I had buried. Thinking, at the time, it was just a fleeting conversation.
“What…” I pause looking at all of them. “What if we could?”
“Could what?” Max questions his brows furrowed.
“All have her. A couple of days ago, one of the kids in my junior sparring class was having issues following through with her punches. I pulled her aside, and knowing she was around sixteen, told her to pretend like she was protecting her family for motivation. A few minutes passed by, and her shoulders slumped forward, a sigh escaping,” I begin, adjusting my position on the chair to sit straighter.
My ass is going numb.
“When I asked if she was okay, she explained there wasn’t any family around her. That she won the class through a contest at school and she didn’t have anyone she could think about to protect.”
“Please tell me you signed her up for all the defense classes and programs at no cost,” Ryder pipes up, his back straightening while he narrows his eyes at me.
“Of course I did!” I defend, throwing my hand over my heart and exaggerating taking offense.
Ever since Bear went missing, and we saw the carnage left in her house, Ry and I have devoted a substantial amount of our time and money into making sure all children—but especially young girls—know how to defend themselves.
Knowing that this child had no family she considered important enough to protect, but yet still entered to receive a training class, let me know right then, she was there for herself. And I’ll be damned if I don’t make her the best she can be.
We may not own the gym, but we do teach multiple fighting and self-defense classes, and we’re the biggest shareholders on the board. It’s safe to say, if we tell them to do something, they ask how fast we want it done.
“Anyway, back to what I was saying. I was about to tell her we could come up with another scenario, when her eyes brightened and she asked about fictional characters. Since I didn’t see why not, I asked who she had in mind. She told me of this story she’s reading where the main character couldn’t decide between the people they loved. When she saw how her indecision was hurting all of them, she confessed, explaining that she couldn’t choose between the three of them. That she loved and adored them all equally, and wanted all three of them to stay with her,” I conclude, the thought hanging between us like a pendulum.
“All of them? Like, they sharedher? Shared their affection?” Kade asks, stumbling over his words.
“I guess so. I remember hearing something about it before. One of the ring girls isreallyinto romance novels, and tried to get me to role-play something from one of her books. When I declined sleeping with her, not that it didn’t sound intriguing but I had zero interest in her, she kept bringing up different scenarios, hoping one would stick. She called it a… uhh…Fuck. What did she call it?”
“A reverse harem,” Max states casually as he stares at his phone. “Multiple men showing affection for and sharing the affection from a single female.”
“Uhh, yeah, that,” I agree as I shake my head a little. This might be the craziest idea I’ve had yet, but if it works, if it’s possible…
“Look, I’m not saying I want to have naked light-saber battles with you all,” I begin again, not missing the shared glance between Ryder and Max at my comment.Interesting.“But I would be fine, happy even, to share her with the three of you. You’re my best friends, my brothers. We’ve always been close, like a little family, and even as I think about the idea now, there’s no jealousy directed to any one of you.”
“Me too. When you just mentioned it, and I looked it up, it was like it just made sense. There’s no anger or envy, just the thought that we could all be happy,” adds Max.
“Agreed.” Ryder nods, his gaze shifting between us.
