Her focus shifts over my shoulder, so I release her wrists, placing that hand against the wall over her head and move my free hand to rest gently on her stomach. “Why would lie about what we created?”
She winces, but doesn’t speak, continues to look around me and through me, but never at me.
“Just fucking talk to me,” I plead, suddenly terrified that things are going so wrong they can never be right again.
Then she shoves my hand off her stomach, wraps her arms around her middle as if she’s protecting herself against me. I ease back slightly, wanting to give her some space without her thinking I’m giving up. Her eyes lift to mine, determination shining back at me, and I curse under my breath, force myself to maintain space between us.
“Don’t do it, Cass,” I breathe, even though I already know it’s too late. “Don’t say it.”
Her eyes squeeze shut, her expression a twist of emotions as she turns her face away, whispers, “Red.”
A low growl vibrates from deep in my chest, and I have to force myself to relax even as I want to go berserker mode. Stepping back fully, my hands fall to my sides, and I use every method I’ve ever heard of to keep myself from pushing the issue.
Then I turn sharply and walk away.
20
A GLITCH IN THE ARMOR
CASSIDY
Why?
Why, why, why?
As if that isn’t a question that has been asked of me a million times throughout my life. And, just like all the times before, it’s not that I don’t have a perfectly reasonable answer in my brain. I have so many answers they get all jumbled and instead of saying the most obvious truthful answer I say something completely false and hurtful.
Like I should have said how this has all become too real too fast, and when I get this close to anyone, I do my damnedest to push them away before they become the painful problem they undoubtedly will end up being.
Because I’m fucking scared.
When he was demanding the truth from me, that response was right on the tip of my tongue, but after all the dumb shit I’d already said, all I could manage was the one syllable response that I knew would make the chaos in my brain stop.
The one word that would make him back off.
That would make him leave me alone.
As it was happening, it was as if I was outside of my own body, watching myself spew venom at a man who absolutely did not deserve it, yet completely incapable of putting a stop to it.
The door slams, and I wince, my eyes squeezed shut against the reality of the now empty hallway. An empty hallway I more than earned with my callous words, my irrational behavior, my inability to be open and honest.
Horrified, I slowly sink to the floor, my arms wrapping around my middle, my head resting against the wall behind me. I breathe slowly, deeply, counting my breaths and my heartbeats, willing myself to get control of my emotions.
Heavy footfalls come near, then walk by. I listen intently, following the sound of their path in my head, taking some solace in the fact he’s still there, even if he’s likely going to give me a wide berth for a while.
The click of a closing door has my eyes flying open. The low whir of a small motor. No more footfalls to be heard, and I realize Ren didn’t head up the stairs toward the bedroom. Or down the hallway toward to living room or kitchen.
He walked in the opposite direction entirely.
Toward the garage.
Toward an escape.
“No,” I croak, my voice catching in my throat. Attempting to scramble to my feet, I lose my balance, falling forward onto my knees. Pushing off the floor with one hand, I come to my feet in a rush, using my hands along the wall to increase my forward momentum as I find some semblance of balance.
Panicked, I race down the hallway, just clearing the doorway to the garage as the bay door shuts completely.
A sob falls from my lips, that ache in my chest taking my breath as I recognize that he’s gone.
