I can’t wait to leave all this behind.
I finished filling up their cups and walked the three Cokes and two waters back out to the main floor of the pizzeria. I carefully weaved through the noisy kids and annoyed adults and toward the table, finally setting the drinks down. “Three Cokes and two waters, as requested.” Ryder and Token flashed me a small smile each while Montey looked as if he wanted to say something. Sybil reached over and placed her perfectly manicured hand on his arm, silencing him. Seeing her grip on him made me burn with rage and I felt my eyes narrow and the greasy clown makeup on my face creased from doing so.
“Oh come on,” she hissed. “She’s not worth your time.” Sybil eyed me up and down, grimacing at my uniform. It made me feel even less confident than I already was while wearing it wearing it. Sure, the uniforms for the servers here at Big Top were a bit ridiculous and over the top, but they were what we were known for. “At leastyoudon’t have to dress likethatwhen you come to work, Lavender.” Her eyes widened slightly on the word ‘that’ as she took in my appearance. “The only good thing about this damn place is the discount you get on this cheap pizza. Otherwise I’d never step foot in this fucking dump.” I tilted my head to the side, feeling the small party hat on my head shift slightly.
Breathe. It’s not worth it. She’s not worth it.
Sybil grinned, her vibrant red lips nearly matching her hair color. “Well? Are you going to take our order, clown?” I bit the inside of my lip so hard I tasted blood.
Not worth it.
“Hellooo? Did you hear me? We’re ready to order.” She tossed her hair again. “God, the service in this joint really sucks!”
I nodded my head and smiled at Sybil, leaning down as I placed my hands on the table. My body hovered so close, I was nearly eye level with her. “What’s your damage?” I asked in a sarcastic tone.
Sybil leaned back aghast, hand on her chest. She then pulled her leather jacket close and looked around the table for help, but no one was coming to her rescue. “Damage?” She gasped. “There’s no damage here.” She smiled, exposing her teeth. “I just don’t like you.” Sybil clasped her fingers together, and the lights above reflected off her long nails. “You little freak.”
“Okay, cool.” I nodded as my anger began to build. “So, you know this is my uniform, right? That I don’t just dress like this for the hell of it. Right?” She didn’t answer and just kept smiling. “Maybe, if you guys want to keep coming here, you should show me and all these other servers in these clown costumes some fuc?—”
“Crissa.” Montey cut me off before I could even finish my sentence. “Can you just get us our usual?” He looked at me with those soft brown eyes that used to make me melt. “Please?” His sarcastic begging made me sick. And I just wanted to punch him. But I needed this job. I needed to keep my cool and be the bigger person here.
Reel it in, Crissa.
I sighed and straightened my back with a heavy sigh. “The usual.” I wrote their order on my notepad before reading it back to them. “I’ve got an order of cheesy bread, one large three-meat pizza, and one large supreme pizza. Anything else?” I looked at Montey for confirmation and he nodded.
Good.
“No!” Sybil shouted as I turned to leave. My molars nearly cracked at how hard I was clenching my mouth.
You need this job…you need this job…you need this job.
I slowly turned and stared right at Sybil, waiting for her to continue, but she just turned to Montey and spoke. “YouknowI hate all that extra shit on my pizza. And you never know what kind of mystery meat you’re going to get.” She huffed. “I just want cheese.”
As Sybil continued to whine, my eyes drifted to the other side of the table. I was genuinely curious how the other three were dealing with her nonsense. I had only been around her for a total of five minutes, and she was annoying as hell. I couldn’t imagine putting up with her shit day in and day out. “Anything else?” I asked the others. Lavender rolled her lip between her teeth, slouching in the booth as she silently listened to Sybil go on and on about calories or some shit. The twins, Ryder and Token, both just looked at one another with frustrated mirror reflections and annoyed frowns. It must’ve been exhausting to them all.
Montey spoke up as my eyes returned to him. “Add a small cheese as well.”
Of course he’d cave.
“Alrighty then.” I wrote the single addition on the notepad and turned on my heel.
Before I could even take a step, Lavender gently caught my wrist. “Thanks, Crissa,” she whispered softly. I looked down at her fingers wrapped carefully around my wrist, then raised my gaze to her ocean eyes.
I ripped my arm back and dropped the forced smile. “Just doing my job.” I then walked away from the table without another word.
I don’t care if we grew up together…Lavender isn’t my friend, and this isn’t grade school. If she wants to play nice to appease her guilty conscience, fine. But I don’t have to do shit.
I marched to the back, a storm cloud following behind me, shoving through the kitchen door and ripping the order from my notepad, putting it on the line, when Tawny suddenly appeared. “Crissa! Would you be a doll and help me run this order out to that big party at table twelve?” Tawny asked, holding two large pepperoni pizzas. “They’re just over there.” She motioned as she rushed by me with her hands full, sweating and obviously getting a workout from how busy we were.
“Sure thing.” I grabbed two more pizzas from the order and followed Tawny out into the pizzeria. We then rushed back into the kitchen to grab a couple more pies and delivered the last of the order together before I stepped away to check on another table in my section. I tried to keep myself busy hoping the rest of my shift would fly by. Tawny stopped me on my way into the kitchen and beckoned me to where she was standing behind the register. “You alright, Crissa? You seem out of it all of a sudden. Is it the noise? I know it can be a bit much but—” I couldn’t focus on what she was saying. I was so damn tired and too annoyed to really think. The only thing I could do was stare at the clown mascot bobble-head on the register. I was weirdly transfixed by the way his head just bounced and never seemed to stop. “Hellooo. Crissa? Hey, earth to Crissa!” A hand waved in front of my face and I snapped back. “You okay, kid?”
My head swiveled back to the woman. She was eyeing me closely, giving me one of her sweet smiles, the one that says so much even when she wasn’t actually saying anything. She was like an older aunt. Not the one you hate to have to forcefully interact with, but the one that you want to talk to and tell everything to. “I’m fine.”
She cocked her head and raised one of her penciled brows. “Mhm.”
She knows me too well.
I sighed and caved. “That five top I got…the one in the corner?” Tawny nodded. “It’s my old friend group—well—all but one of them. We used to be inseparable, and then one day everything changed. Now, we’re just strangers who can’t seem to stop running into each other.” I groaned. “I can’t wait to just leave this all behind. Every last one of them.”
