“Thanks Tawny.” I looked down at the rat in my hands. “I’ll head in here in a minute.”
She leaned against the paint-chipped building and sighed. “Now, kid.” Her eyes noticed my hesitant gaze. “Just stuff whateverthatis in your pocket and get your ass inside.”
A light sweat broke out under my fringe and along my forehead. “O–okay.” I put out my cigarette and tossed it in the overflowing dumpster. Tawny eyed me closely as I made my way back inside, still holding my hand close to my chest. I waited until the back door shut before raising my hand to my face. “I’m so sorry!” I apologized to the rat. “Are you okay?” It chittered lightly but seemed fine. “Thank goodness.” I exhaled. “I have to get back to work, so stay hidden.” The rat looked back towards the shut door and made a few noises. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to crack it before I leave.” I bent down, admiring how cute the critter was, as it hopped from my palm onto the checkered tile flooring of the storage room. I never understood why people disliked rats so much. They could be the kindest little critters and were such great listeners. Unlike humans.
“Just stay out of sight, okay?” The rat squeaked before scuttling out of view, and I snatched my ridiculous polka dot hat from the counter, placing it on top of my head.
Ugh. Back to work.
I took a deep breath before heading back through the bustling kitchen and out onto the main floor.
Bip Top was rather large for a pizzeria and completely drenched in all things related to clowns. The floor was covered in the typical neon and black celebration carpet that nearly glowed under the colored lights throughout the dining area. The smell of popcorn and oversweetened treats mixed with the everlasting smell of moldy cheese and sweat seemed to be soaked into every surface of the pizzeria. Stuffed clowns, clown cutouts, and even small clown puppets and dolls oversaturated the space, completed with a rainbow of balloons and circus music that played overhead as the servers rushed around in the frilly costumes we were required to wear. If that wasn’t humiliating enough, we also had to paint our faces to match and hide the way our expressions remained underwhelmed and displeased at our job.
Come on, Crissa, your shift is nearly over. Just suck it up and push through. Remember why you’re even here.
I shook my emotions away and forced a smile, stepping behind the counter.
Tawny wasn’t kidding when she said we had gotten a few parties in. The pizzeria was crowded with them, and they definitely weren’t small parties either. Kids ran around the dining room, shouting and giggling as their parents simply ignored them. I watched as other servers struggled to wrangle their parties, worn out from how sugared up the kids were. Hell, I was lucky I only got sat a five top. Big Top was packed!
There must’ve been a rush that came in from the mall.
I looked around and noticed a few additional large groups waiting to be seated. They must’ve come in while I was out back. No wonder Tawny was so frazzled. “Get a move on, kid.” Her voice snapped from behind me. “Your party’s seated and waiting for you to take their order. I gotta find someone to deal with the poor clown mascot out front by the mall entrance. Damn kids…it took a beating.” I looked at Tawny who just sighed and shook her head while holding a pepperoni pizza. “Mind dropping this off for me? Over there.” She motioned her head towards a table which sat a couple in the middle of the restaurant. “It’s the couple’s anniversary and I guess this was the most romantic place they could think of celebrating.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t forget the sparkler this time.”
“I got it.” I took the pizza from her and held it high, bobbing and weaving through the chaotic flood of children who ran by towards the ball pit in the corner of the pizzeria. “Fucking kids,” I muttered under my breath.
Alright now remember, just smile and pretend you don’t hate your fucking life right now. Put on a show and it’ll be over before you know it.
I approached the couple at their table and smiled a little too big. “Lady and gentleman, I bring you one piping hot pepperoni pizza!” The couple grinned and oohed over my forced enthusiasm. “Of course it wouldn’t be a Big Top pizza without…” I popped a couple red clown noses from my pocket, handing them to the couple before I retrieved a small sparkler and placed it in the center of the pizza, lighting it with my lighter. It shot to life instantly, just like their faces, the two now wearing the red noses. “Some pizzazz! Happy anniversary!” The couple cheered as I clapped my hands and waited for the sparkler to die out before plucking it from the pizza. “Please enjoy and let me or any of the other clowns here know if you need anything else.” The couple thanked me, and as soon as I turned away, my smile fell.
God, I really fucking hate this job.
As I walked past and towards my section, my eyes landed on my five-top. It was a round, red vinyl-lined booth in the corner under a black light and away from most of the parties. Usually it was my favorite table to wait on, but today it was the one table I wished I didn’t have.
My feet froze as I stared ahead at the individuals seated in my section…Lavender, Ryder, Token, and Montey. My old friends and their reigning redheaded queen bitch, Sybil.
Why the fuck were they here? No, don’t let them get to you. Your shift is almost over. You can do this. Just do your job and fuck the rest.
I rolled my shoulders back and walked towards the table with a false sense of confidence. I ignored the kids running up the Skee-ball game and throwing the balls in the 500 hole for a higher score, squeezing past a dad screaming at the servers about why the basketball game wasn’t giving his kid the tickets as it should, and stepped over a dropped piece of pizza. I held my painted face high and walked my happy ass across the neon carpet to my former friends and forced the fakest smile I could. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Big Top Pizzeria, where everyone can run away from daily life and live out their wildest fantasies! Now, what can I get you to drink?” The forced smile on my face ached. My four former friends must’ve known, but the fifth woman, not so much.
Sybil scoffed, tossing her fiery red hair over her shoulder. “I knew you were a freak, Crissa, but fantasizing about being a pizza-serving clown?” She leaned into Montey, watching for a reaction. “Pathetic.”
Lavender spoke up before anyone else could, trying to diffuse the situation. No surprise there. She was the only one in the group who even bothered to offer me even the smallest bit of kindness. “Wow! Big Top seems to be pretty busy tonight.”
I looked around the crowded pizzeria. “Yeah, well, it’s a Saturday night. Most people are out enjoying their lives.”
While the rest of us dress up as fucking clowns and serve fuckers like Sybil, barely making enough to get by.
I tapped my pen on the notepad, becoming impatient. Despite Sybil’s constricted grip on his arm, Montey wouldn’t stop staring at me. I had to force my eyes away, knowing whatever was once between us was dead now. Sybil, now bored with my presence, tossed her long hair like she was a show pony. “I mean noteveryone,” she spat as my eyes met hers. Even in the ill-lit corner, her blue eyes practically glowed with hatred. And they did so purely for me.
My head tilted as I tried to remain put together. “So, drinks?” My smile this time was tight, close-lipped.
“Just Cokes for the table,” Montey spoke, breaking the awkward tension.
Sybil scoffed, raising her hand as if the mere insinuation of drinking a soda was an insult. “Oh no! A water for me.” Then she directed her attention to Montey. “You know I don’t drink that shit. It rots your insides.” She looked at me again, speaking in a sarcastic-sassy tone. “Right?” I didn’t answer. “That’s what I thought. Water for me. Oh, and bring him a water too, would ya?”
My faux smile remained drawn along my face. “Of course. I’ll be right back with your drinks.” My clipped tone didn’t go unnoticed. As I spun and walked away, I heard Montey say something along the lines of wanting a Coke, especially with pizza. He also muttered something about being nice to me because I was a ‘friend’.
I scoffed and hurried to grab their drinks. “A friend…ha!” Calling me a friend was rich, especially coming fromhim. Where was Montey when I had to move out of my house? Nowhere. None of them were there for me. None of them called or came by when I finally found a new place to live. I was alone. They were too preoccupied with their new friend Sybil to even notice me anymore. We weren’t friends and hadn’t been for awhile. Especially Montey and me. He was too wrapped up in Sybil to notice me. Now, the only time I saw any of them were nights like this. And I was pretty sure Lavender only put up with pretending to be nice to me because we worked together, though I was lucky if we even had a shift together. Hell, even when we did, we barely spoke. I served and hosted parties while she worked in the back. I envied her position ‘cause she didn’t have to dress up like a fucking clown.
