Montey tilted his head and squinted his eyes at me. “What exactly are we going to do with that? Also where did you find that? I’ve never seen it in my life.”
My lips pressed together. “It was in the closet under the stairs.” I gestured in the general direction. “Surprised you’ve never seen it before, considering how much you enjoy that closet.” I grinned. “Maybe we could?—”
“Spin the bottle!” Token suddenly chimed up. “Oh! Oh! No! A little seven minutes in heaven, maybe?” He looked way too excited at the options he mentioned.
Lavender pushed him over from his beanbag chair. “Eww! What are you, sixteen? Just shut the fuck up, pervert!”
“Yeah shut up.” Ryder grinned from his chair. “Besides, these two already got their seven minutes.” He smiled at Montey and I. “Isn’t that right, Crissa?” I threw a couch pillow at his head. He dodged it and laughed at my temper.
Token grumbled to himself as he got situated. But this time, the same creepy clown from before was back in his lap. Montey finally spoke up and addressed the clown. “This idiot found Cuckles.”
Every one of us turned our heads to Montey in utter dismay, but it was Ryder who asked the question we all were dying to speak. “I’m sorry…did you just call the clown…Cuckles?”
Montey made a face. “Look, I couldn’t pronounce the ‘ch-’when I was little! The clown’sactualname is Chuckles. But I couldn’t ever say it! So, I called it Cuckles.” We all tried not to laugh, snorting at a grown ass man saying such a thing aloud. “Oh ha-ha, very funny. Yes, I’m aware of how it sounds. No, I don't want to talk about it. I fucking hated that clown when I was little. Still do. They fucking creep me out with their unnatural smiles and red noses.” Montey shuddered at the very thought. “Fucking clowns,” he mumbled under his breath.
Token examined the stuffed clown. “But…why is it missing a leg?” He wiggled the creepy clown around. “Did you do something to it?” he asked in a playful tone.
Montey grimaced. “I tried to give him to my dog…yeah, turns out the dog didn’t like him either.”
Ryder piped up. “Enough about the fucking clown. As the second oldest, I vote we just play spin the bottle. Hell, Cuckles can join to make it an even number.” No one argued as Ryder set the bottle down and spun it. We all watched as it finally stopped and pointed between Montey and I. “Oh, look at that. These two get to make out now. Again.” His eyes shot to his brother. “Token, put the damn clown away.” He rubbed his forehead. “Hey, Lavender. What do you think we should do with this little situation?” He threw his thumb over his shoulder pointing at Montey and I.
Lavender played with her curls. “The bottle has chosen. Come on you two!” She motioned for us to move. “I’m sure you know your way to the closet,” she teased. The twins began to bicker over the clown, eventually rough housing and wrestling over it as Montey and I stood. She gave me a wink as I walked behind Montey and followed him to the closet. “Alright! Time starts—now!”
As soon as the door clicked shut, Montey’s body was flush with mine. I looked up at him and smiled right before he kissed me. “Let’s finish what we started.”
Of course, that was then. And this is now.
1 year later…
CHAPTER 1
CRISSA
“Just think…”I blew a mouthful of cigarette smoke into the air. “Only a couple more weeks of this shit and then I’m out of here.” I exhaled as I leaned against the back door of Big Top Pizzeria and looked out into the grimy alley. It was a less than thrilling way to spend my break. Smoking and staring out into the alley of a mall wasn’t exactly glamorous. The dumpster was always overflowing, there was a heavy smell of wet trash that always stuck around, and I was pretty sure I saw one of the guys from the gaming store buying a bag of weed from a chick who works the register at the ice cream place.
My lips wrapped around the butt of the cigarette, the smoke filling my lungs while I sat there and picked at the hem of my ridiculous work uniform. The smell of cheese was forever embedded in the threads of the costume lingering in my nostrils and making me sick to my stomach.
At least he’s able to fuck off and let loose. Must be nice…I can’t remember the last time I felt so carefree.
My head fell back against the metal door and I brushed the faded green fringe from my eyes.
That’s a lie…I do remember. It was last summer.
My mind drifted as memories of those now distant happy times flooded my thoughts.
But those don’t exist anymore. They’re nothing more than breathless memories painted across my soul, constantly reminding me of what I once had and can never get back. Just painful ghosts that forever haunt me and remind me of what I lost.
I ashed my cigarette and watched as one of my rat friends skittered around my feet between the alley and the back door. Seeing the little vermin helped brush the harrowing thoughts away. “Hey there, little guy.” I bent down to gently stroke the rat’s furry head with the tip of my fingers as it devoured the pizza crust crumbs I had scattered along the ground. It wasted no time consuming the little morsels. “Damn. You must’ve been starving, huh?” My spine slid down the backdoor of the pizzeria and I crouched and watched the rat eat. It looked up at me with those dark eyes and squeaked as if communicating with me. “Don’t worry, I didn’t forget the rest. I’ll make sure to leave some more before I clock out tonight, okay?” I stroked his little head again. “Friends don’t let friends starve.”
The rat brushed against the inside of my palm, thanking me for the treat. It made me smile, knowing I had someone—well,something—to talk to. Even if it was a rat.
If only I could make you into a friend. A real friend.
A sudden knock against the back door above my head made me jump. I clutched the little rat close to my chest as the sound ripped me back to reality. “Crissa! Let’s go. We need you back inside.” I looked over my shoulder at my boss, Tawny, behind me. She looked rough, with bags sagging under her heavy blue eyes which were slightly sunken into her wrinkled face thanks to too much time in a tanning bed. She was nearing fifty, and thanks to a recent divorce, she was stuck here working away what little youth she had left to make ends meet. Much like the rest of us.
Her gaze fell to my clasped hand and her penciled eyebrow raised. “Well? You just gonna sit there or get off your ass and do your job?” She pulled a worn pack of cigarettes from her pocket and lit one up, sighing as if the overbearing weight of the world hung along her bony shoulders. “We got a few parties in andyoujust got sat a five top.” She pointed to me with the cigarette clutched between her slender fingers and manicured nails.
I rolled my eyes and groaned before rising to my feet. “Of–fucking–course,” I mumbled under my breath. I was annoyed…not at Tawny, but at the situation. Despite her worn-out appearance and exhausted attitude, Tawny really was a decent boss. She had a sweet face and usually presented herself with the same hairstyle and makeup as she did back when she was younger, clinging to her glory days as a has-been beauty queen. Even in her older age and current state, everything about her was like a ray of sunshine. You just had to accept her not-so-pretty attitude first. Some of my coworkers here at Big Top found her annoying, but I found her refreshing because she took shit from no one.
