“Let’s talk,” she suggested, sucking in a deep breath to help calm her nerves.
“Okay. The living room is this way.” He continued with some non-angsty patter. “We already know what it looks like from the pictures my mother sent, unless the girls were pulling our legs and went rogue with alternate furnishings,” he teased.
Julian’s attempt to lighten the mood didn’t quite work, but it was appreciated. As was him sharing all those pictures his female family members had sent, over the past couple days. Not only had Julian’s shopping-contingent picked everything out that they need, they’d made sure that every bit of it met with Petula’s approval before being purchased.
It had all made her feel…included, and showed that Julian wasn’t just pulling her chain about forging ahead with a relationship. He’d seriously made no bones about wanting her to live here, and that the décor had to be to her liking.
Petula had a hard time not losing her resolve to opt for the tour as they walked into a huge room. The ceilings, again, were vaulted over an enormous space, where a huge bank of windows,nearly floor to ceiling, covered the wall opposite to where they’d walked in.
“The living room is around the corner,” he said, not giving her time to ogle the large, skylit kitchen to her right. He led her past a long trestle table of which she and Julian had both approved. Not that they had any real chairs for it, yet. They hadn’t been able to decide from the photos, what might look good. So, the ladies, in lieu of buying something non-approved, had set up a few folding chairs that would suffice until she and Julian picked out just what they wanted.
There was a lovely sitting nook just beyond the dining area, with the wall adjacent to it covered in bookcases that were huge enough to swallow up all her reading material, with room left over. And that was saying a lot, since Petula was an avid reader.
Turning just beyond a wall that separated the larger space from the kitchen, Petula spied the living room and nodded approvingly.
It looked even better in person than it had in the photos.
“You want tea or anything before we chat?” Julian asked.
He had to be as nervous as she was, but he was hiding it well.
“No. Let’s just get this over with so everything is out in the open,” she countered, taking a seat in a puffy chair that was as comfortable as it looked.
Julian lowered himself into its twin just opposite Petula’s, and sat back with a smile that was clearly meant to put her at ease.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he prodded gently.
Petula sucked in a breath…
“I don’t like surprises,” she blurted out. “In bed. I…”
That sounded lame. Petula started again. “What I mean to say is, I can be adventurous, I think, but I have to know what’s going to happen before it does.”
Julian didn’t look turned off, at all.
“Like getting a running narrative?” he speculated.
That sounded right. Petula nodded.
“I can do that.” He actually seemed intrigued. “It’ll be kind of like verbal foreplay. I think it could be fun.”
Petula instantly felt better. Leave it to Julian to put a positive spin on things, but she still felt like he needed a warning.
“I hate that it will take away any spontaneity, but because?—”
“—things were done to you without your consent, you like to know what’s coming,” Julian finished for her, his demeanor turning serious. “I completely get it, Petula. There’s no need to say more. There’ll be no unscripted surprises from me. I promise.”
Wow.Hurdle one was out of the way, at least until it had to be put to the test. But with his agreement, a huge part of Petula’s worries were swept away, and eased the tightness in her gut.
Petula hoped Julian felt the same about her next requirement.
He must have noted her hesitation, because he smiled at her encouragingly. “Nothing you can say will be a game-changer, Petula. Feel free to tell me anything.”
She blurted it out before she could second guess herself.
“I can only do it in the dark.”
Oh, God.She wanted to cover her face and hide. That sounded so…cowardly.
