I’m saying I’m sorry. And I need to deal with some shit before I drag you into my mess.
Me
For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re a mess. You’re someone who got hurt and is trying to figure it out.
Landon
When did you become so wise?
Me
I’m not wise, but I understand what it’s like to be confused about who you are and what you want.
There’s another pause, and then the dots reappear.
Landon
Can I ask you something?
Me
Sure.
Landon
When did you know? That you were into guys?
I take a long time to answer this one because the truth is, I’m still figuring it out.
Me
I don’t know if there was a specific moment. I think I’ve always known something was different about me. Growing up, I was attracted to girls, but there was always this thing with guys too. I couldn’t admit it because of hockey, so I just pushed it down. Then I realized I was miserable pretending to be someone I’m not.
Landon
Does your family know?
Me
God, no. My father is old-school. He’d lose his mind. My mother would try to be supportive but would definitely have a lot of feelings about it. My brother wouldn’t care, but he’d probably make jokes about it for the rest of my life.
Are you out?
Landon
To some people. Levi knows. And the girl I told you about. They’ve known since college. Levi has always been more comfortable with it than I am. My sister suspects, but we’ve never talked about it. I just don’t bring it up.
Me
That sounds exhausting.
Landon
It is. Which is probably why I act like a drunken idiot at bars and make terrible decisions.
Me
You’re not an idiot. But you’re human.
