“Get her into a hot shower.”
Denver swallowed, his hand tightening on the phone. “I did.”
“Ah man, Denver,” Ryker breathed. “You did what you had to do to save you both, and she’ll either get that . . . or she won’t. It doesn’t change who you are.”
That was the problem. “I’m a killer.” Had been for years. He hung his head since nobody could see him. Exhaustion weakened his knees. The backs of his eyes stung. The world was too heavy on him. “What happened. Before. That was my fault.”
Silence had more weight. Then . . . “Are you kidding me?” Ryker barked.
Denver winced. This was definitely not the time for this discussion. “No.”
“Too fucking bad. Explain.”
He never should’ve opened his damn mouth. This is why he chose not talking over talking any day. But he also knew his brother, and there was no getting out of this one. And it was time to atone. To at least say the words that cut through him with a sharpness that stole his breath. “Ned Cobb. If you guys hadn’t been trying to save me, then you wouldn’t have been there. He wouldn’t have died, and we wouldn’t have gone on the run for so long. I’m sorry.” For years he’d wanted to say those two last words but had never gotten up the balls. His eyes itched. “I’m so fucking sorry, Ryker.”
“Jesus, Denver.” Ryker was way too quiet for a minute. “None of that was your fault. Everything bad that happened to us was on Ned and the sheriff’s heads. And Isobel Madison’s. All we did was try to survive, man.”
“I know, but if it had been just me, then you guys could’ve had normal lives.” Denver’s throat started to hurt. Enough words. He couldn’t control them. “Without me—”
“Without you, we’d be alone in life,” Ryker said quietly. “You made us a family. The three of us. Suddenly we had a brother, a younger one to protect, and we did it. It was a shitty time and a shitty place, but we survived together. The three of us. That means something, and I thank God—who I thought had forgotten about us—for helping us find one another. For you.”
Tears, actual tears, clogged Denver’s throat. He’d reimagined that day a million times, trying to figure out how he could’ve spared Ry and Heath. Why was life so fucking hard? “I’d be dead without you guys.”
“We’d all be dead.” Ryker sighed. “But we’re not. So lift your head back up and go check on your girl. If she’s somebody you care about, she’s strong enough to handle what you did. It’s that simple.”
Life was never that simple. But Denver couldn’t handle any more emotion. He was close to short-circuiting as it was. “All right. I’ll call in tonight after I start bidding on the auction.” The idea of bidding for a baby nauseated him. “And Ryker? Thanks.”
“Love you, brother.” Ryker clicked off.
Yeah. That was truth. Denver straightened up and wiped the snow off before clomping into the cabin. Noni was stretched out on the sofa in front of the fire, her wet hair splayed across the pillow, her eyes closed, and her breathing even. Good. She’d showered. He reached for a knitted blanket to place over her.
Her soft skin was pale against that black hair. He couldn’t help running a finger over her high cheekbone. When they’d been together in Alaska, a little kid had seen her coming out of a store. The kid’s eyes had widened, and he’d whispered to his mom that Pocahontas was there.
Noni had snorted.
But Denver had seen what the kid had seen. With her long dark hair and stunning eyes, there was something absolutely magical about her. Not just in the way she looked but in her smile. In the way she spoke and in the kindness that seemed to surround her.
He forced himself to turn away from her and grabbed his laptop to work over in the chair closer to the fire. He sat, and his entire body ached.
Sucking in air, he punched in the necessary keys and found the site. His fingers going stiff, he typed in a dollar amount to bid on a baby. Talia.
His stomach lurched, and he swallowed down bile.
Somebody instantly countered his bid.
He needed to throw up.
A tremble slid down his arm, and he clenched his fingers into a fist, opening and closing it. Then he breathed in and out, forcing himself to go cold and concentrate.
He bid again.
CHAPTER
15
Noni finished cleaning the kitchen after a quiet and very late dinner of sandwiches with a surprisingly good Shiraz. Denver’s brothers had somehow stocked the kitchen with staples right after purchasing the cabin. They had connections that were impressive. She’d slept for a while in the morning and then had watched Denver work the dark web as if he had done so a million times before.
As he bid on the baby throughout the day, the price kept going up. Somebody kept outbidding him.
