He helped her to remove every article of clothing from her body. Once she was naked, he got up and stripped himself bare where he returned to the bed down and brought her back against his chest. He nuzzled her neck lightly. “I could stay like this forever.”
“Me too.” Aislynn sighed in contentment.
“I have decided to rent out my townhouse. I might even sell it.”
Her heart stuttered in her chest. “Why?”
“I do not care of society anymore. I used to think I needed their approval in order to feel I had accomplished something grand. They helped me to make my fortune, but now I want to use the fruits of that labor for myself. I also do not want to have to worry about someone like The Wolf coming to my front door. It is time I began to make a house a proper home and spend my days with someone who I want to see every day for the rest of my life.”
A sharp gasp escaped Aislynn as he slowly turned her to face him.
“I learned tonight that my uncle is not suffering from delusions of the mind like I had feared.”
Hope began to blossom within her.
“He has been an opium eater for so long that it has deteriorated his rational thought processes. The physician was easily able to determine that as the root cause of his madness.” He closed his eyes and she could tell he was still struggling with the truth of everything he’d faced. It had been a lot to comprehend, but it also allowed him to view a new reality that he had never allowed himself to see before.
His dark eyes were bright, clearer and more focused than she had ever noticed before.
“So many years I was led to believe a false interpretation, one that kept me from truly enjoying life. I put myself in so many dangerous situations because I felt I had nothing left to lose. That is no longer true. I love you, Aislynn.” He ran his knuckles down the side of her face, his focus following the gentle movement, his lips kicking up at the corner. “I never thought I would hear myself say that to anyone or ask anyone to marry me. I certainly never planned to offer my heart, but I have learned you will not easily take no for an answer. Not only that, but you are the only woman who has been able to understand the complexity of my past and still dare to champion my future. I do not want to lose that hope because you are that hope. I saw that on the way back here. I ignored my happiness because I thought there was some twisted darkness inside of me that would eventually rear its ugly head. But my uncle’s confession and the physician’s diagnosis has made me realize that I had been hiding from myself and using my father’s illness as an excuse to hide my head in the sand. If my bloodline is still tainted somehow, I am resolved not to let it define me any longer. I want the opportunity to live a life and share it with you.”
Aislynn could hardly breathe, let alone speak. Her throat was clogged with emotion. It took several tries before she could finally get her voice to work properly. She placed a hand on his cheek, enjoying the slightly rough feeling of the day’s stubble beneath her palm. It made this moment seem more real, and not just a fabrication she might have dreamed. “I do not think you will ever understand how much it means to me to hear you say that. All I have ever wanted is for you to believe in yourself, to free the chains that you imagined were dragging you down. You are worthy of a fulfilling life, whatever that might have meant to you. I am so happy that you chose to include me in those plans for the future.” A tear coursed down her face, and she embraced it. “I could not believe that anything would mean more to me than being on the stage, revered by hundreds of admirers. I thought that was the definition of success for me but meeting you has made me see that love is the only thing that truly matters. Having someone who supports your dreams and your deepest desires, who can appreciate your passion and determination is the best gift that life can offer, and I am grateful to have found that with you.”
His grin widened. “Can I assume that means you will marry me?”
She laughed, feeling relieved to be able to do so. “It most certainly does!” They came together for a kiss that flowed over them like the rays of a warm sunset. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” He closed his eyes. “It feels so damned good to be able to admit that without any reservations.”
Another kiss quickly turned into more, and they slowly came together as one. When they gained their mutual satisfaction, it was with a sigh of contentment before they fell into a contented slumber.
Despite the events of the previous night, Cordell couldn’t seem to stop a grin from appearing on his face later that morning when he awoke to find a beautiful woman with light hair wrapped in his arms. His cock responded in kind, but he knew there was too much to do today to engage in bed sport. At least, not just yet. Not until he could finally put the ghosts of his past to rest.
He gently disengaged himself from Aislynn and dressed before making his way downstairs to speak to Mary. He found her in her private parlor. He had long learned it was her personal haven in a business that catered to men who did not appreciate a good woman but wanted to use them for their own gain.
She glanced up from the paper she had been reading when he walked in, but rather than engage with the niceties, he sat down and clasped his hands loosely together. “Why did you never tell me the truth of your injury?”
Mary’s eyes widened slightly but then she slowly folded the paper and set it to the side. Her useless arm was laid in her lap but it did not stop her from getting a cheroot and lighting it. She took a long inhale, followed by a cloud of white smoke before she asked, “How did ye find out?”
“Once the Runners were finished… questioning the duke, he became quite forthcoming with information regarding all his past crimes.” He tilted his head to the side. “I would have confronted him years ago if I had known he was the one who attacked you.”
She gave a one-sided shrug. “I did not think to burden ye with the information when ye were so young. Ye interceded and saved me from a worse fate, so I thought it was the least I could do not to add to yer troubles.”
“And later?”
“Ye had never truly faced the fact that yer father had gone mad. I did not want ye to think that yer uncle was suffering the same illness. But after what Aislynn told me last evening, I suppose it was not so much an affliction as it was a preventable sickness.”
“It would appear so,” Cordell murmured. “Through the years, when I would observe asylums and the treatments the patients received, it never occurred to me to consider that various drugs given to assist in ailments would become an underlying problem. I have heard it referred to as habituations. Dr. Benjamin Rush in America wrote a tome about psychiatry, ’Observations and Inquiries upon the Diseases of the Mind’ that described alcohol as one of the main causes for mental disturbances, not demonic possession or other such nonsense, but that it was attributed to physical abnormalities caused by other ailments. I am now discovering this to be true, because I could see the downward spiral of my father’s health over the years. The madness was not something he was struck with overnight. It was a slow, steady progression caused by the tea my uncle poisoned him with.” He stared at the floor. “Since this has become clear to me, now I keep asking myself what I could have done differently to save his life and that of my mother.”
“No,” Mary stated firmly, causing his attention to return to her. Her lips were pursed tightly. “Ye cannot be doing that to yerself. It sounds as though yer uncle was so obsessed over his own sister that he would have found a way to destroy her. It was unfortunate that yer father was caught up in such a dangerous situation, but ye were a child. How were ye to know what was happening?”
“I suppose,” Cordell grudgingly admitted. “But I cannot help but think of how things could have turned out differently.”
She gave a snort. “We all have those same thoughts in our minds. The what ifs and the whys of life. The difference between us and people like yer uncle is that we accept the hand we have been dealt and do our best to put one foot in front of the other and press forward rather than dwell on the things we cannot have.”
Cordell’s lips twitched. “When did you become so wise, Mary?”
She laughed. “I have always been blessed thus,” she teased.
