Her life may be full with her duties at Wyndview Farm, and with taking care of her daughter, who was the light of her world, but there was nobody just for her with which she could share her thoughts or even comfortable silence.
Goodness, her emotions had changed in the space of a dance andCaroline would like to push everything away and return to being content with her life but wondered if that would ever be possible again and if she would be haunted by what would never be.
“Is all well, Mrs. Sutcliffe,” Wyndham asked quietly. “You seem suddenly disturbed. I did not tread upon a toe, did I?”
Caroline chuckled, thankful for his humor. Wyndham was an excellent dancer, as he likely knew. “It is warm in here,” she answered, not willing to discuss what was on her mind.
“Aye, it is,” he agreed. “When we are finished, I will retrieve some wine and we can step out into the gardens, though I wonder if they will be any cooler.”
It was an excellent idea, but Caroline was not certain that it would be wise to be alone with him. Not because of her earlier desire, but because of a longing for so much more that would never come from him or anyone.
Chapter Fifteen
There had beenthe strangest shift in Caroline’s mood as they waltzed. had gone from being happy to nearly downhearted.
His dancing was not so bad but Sterling could not think of another reason.
The conversation had been of little importance other than learning that this was the first time his mother had forced her to a ball.
Was she worried that there was a particular reason?
As the song came to an end, he bowed again to her curtsey then led her away from the dance floor to the refreshment table where they selected a glass of wine, then he turned her to the open doors leading to the gardens.
While it wasn’t as hot outside, it was not cool either, but there was a relief from the noise and conversation of the crowds.
“Would you like to sit?” he asked after spying a bench set off and away from the entrance.
“Please,” she answered with a grateful smile. “It has been years since I have worn dancing slippers and stood for so long.”
Sterling led her to a bench and joined her after she was seated.
“Is all well with you, Mrs. Sutcliffe?” He asked the same question he had inside because he was not certain her answer had been fully truthful.
“I grow tired,” she answered.
Tired did not explain sadness, which he noted in her eyes whilethey were still within the well-lit ballroom.
“That is all?”
Maybe he should not press for a full explanation, but Sterling could not help himself.
Caroline sighed. “I had forgotten what being at a ball could be like. It has been years. Not since…”
“Since your husband,” he finished for her.
That was it. She missed her husband.
Had she been so deeply in love? Did that explain why after three and a half years she had not wed again and had been reduced to being a companion for his mother?
“Do you miss him so very much?”
Maybe he shouldn’t have asked such a question but Sterling needed to know if she had been so in love that she was now married to a ghost.
“I miss the companionship,” she answered quietly. “Not that we had much time for such since he was off to war within three months of our marriage…maybe I miss the promise of what could have been.”
Ah, it was not so much a deep love as it was a future she was denied and for some reason he was glad that her heart had not been buried with Peter.
Caroline then shook her head and chuckled. “You must think me terribly silly. I am certain that I am only tired and not used to a night of standing, conversation, and dancing.”
