“No. It was duty.”
“Is that how you also viewed the marriage bed?”
Goodness, this was very personal, but because it was Demetrius asking and he had claimed to desire her, Lavinia decided to answer honestly.
“My husband did not like kissing, and only did so once, and that was when the vicar pronounced us man and wife.” She was not quite ready to answer the marriage bed question because if he knew the truth, he would not want her either.
There were more questions that he wished to ask, none of his concern, but he needed to know. If her husband had only kissed her once and had done a very poor job of doing so, then Demetrius had no doubt that the former Marquess of Teviot failed in the most important and intimate part of his marriage.
But, as Lavinia’s face was red enough already, Demetrius did not press.
It also made him long to seduce her, but one simply did not seduce someone like Lavinia. She was not a normal widow who was lonely and missed the intimacy once shared with her husband.
She needed to be wooed. He did not just want a bedding, he wanted her and that could only be accomplished after he came to know her better, and she knew more about him.
Except, he had secrets that he was not certain he could share. Secrets that made him unworthy to even touch her hand.
Disappointment settled in the pit of his stomach. No matter how much he wanted Lavinia, he could not and should not seduce her.
“He married me for my dowry and marriage settlement because he was deeply in debt and his Scottish estate was crumbing to the ground. He made me believe that he cared, when he did not.”
How many marriages had taken place under the same circumstances?
Lavinia set her cup and saucer aside and rose to walk to the sideboard where she poured two glasses of brandy. They’d had little wine during dinner. He had not even finished his glass because he wanted to remain in control of his sensibilities. Lavinia had drunk even less than him so Demetrius assumed one small glass of brandy would not do either of them any harm, especially since this was clearly a difficult subject for her.
It was personal and he should not press for private details but he wanted to know.
“His family resented me because he had been forced to marry a Sassenach to fill their coffers, so there was no friendship and with each year that passed without an heir, the resentment grew.”
“I am sorry for that, Lavinia.”
“I was too embarrassed to cast blame on my husband, but he was the one who avoided me.” She took a sip of her brandy.
How could any man not spend every night in her bed? Yes, she seemed reserved, polite and unapproachable at times, but now that he was coming to know her, she was all that he had assumed. Lavinia had likely closed herself off to protect her heart. What woman wouldn’t after learning that her husband did not want her after they had wed?
“Was it a mistress?” he asked.
“Not that I am aware and I’m fully certain if there had been one, it would not have been hidden from me.”
All he could do was stare at her because this was the most confounding thing he had ever heard.
“Do not try to find a reason or make excuses, Demetrius. I have accepted that was the way of things and am glad to be free of the relationship, though saddened that he did have to die for it to be so.”
Chapter
Thirteen
Lavinia feared that she may have already shared too much with Demetrius, but she did not want to lie about her marriage.
Though she took comfort in the fact that he appeared to be shocked, or possibly stunned with disbelief that her husband had not wanted her.
“My sister’s marriage was of duty also, but she did find pleasure with her husband,” she announced and prayed that Demetrius never revealed what she was about to tell him because Octavia would kill her, but Lavinia needed to gauge his reaction before she asked the same of him.
That is, if she could find the nerve to ask him what she wished.
“She is married again, is she not?”
“Yes.” Lavinia chuckled. “It was not Octavia’s intention to ever marry a second time, and had she not found herself with child…”
